Escapism °• | NANA Fanfiction

[Chapter 15] I have a type

Nanami dragged out her suitcase and dropped it in the centre of her room with a loud thud. Her chest tightened as she stared at the empty space inside it. She wasn't unreasonable, her parents were the clear option here. They paid her way through school and provided her rent; she wasn't stupid enough to willingly stay here and struggle with all this bullshit if she just needed to go home. She opened her wardrobe and her clothes stared back at her, she grit her teeth as she tore her dresses off the hangers, pushing back any fleeting thoughts, she had about a singing career forcing them down. She refused to think about it until she left, then even if she regretted her decision, it would be too late.

Shin stood frozen in the doorway; his eyes wide with disbelief. "You're not serious, are you? You can't just leave."

Nanami looked up at him, her face set in a hard expression; her eyes were cold, he didn't recognise them. Her smile was gone. "I should stay? And then what? Guess who pays for all this? My parents! If they say 'come home,' then you know I have to go." She was rational, she knew what was best for her future.

"But they can't force you! You're an adult!" Shin's voice wavered, frustration rising. "What are you going to do? Just go back to them and let them control your life?"

"Yes."

Let them control her life; what did it matter to her? She would still live a comfortable life at the end of the day. "You guys will be fine without me." She avoided his eyes; she did not want to confirm her deepest fears. She knew they would be fine; she did not matter, and so extracting herself wouldn't do anything. Dark siren would be fine, Blast would be fine. They would all move on, the world would keep spinning.

"Fine?" Shin's voice cracked; she flinched. Even if his voice was soft, the raw emotion it released collapsed on her, making it difficult for her to move. "I won't be fine! You're my family! You can't just leave me like this!" His voice rose, raw and desperate. It made her choke; how was she going to keep her composure if he said stuff like that? She took a deep breath, leaning her head back so nothing spilt from her eyes.

She steadied her heart then turned to face him, her own emotions bubbling to the surface. "What do you expect me to do, Shin? Stay here with no money, no support, and what—hope for the best? My parents are my lifeline. Without them, I'm screwed. If they cut me off, I have nothing. I can't—"

'I can't even support you.'

"If I stay, I can't promise I'll be able to send you to school anymore. If I leave, I will make sure you'll be okay." She felt stupid; she went to study and ended up with a brother. She was unwilling to leave to struggle if she could do something about it. He had no one; he only had her.

"I don't need that!" Shin interrupted; his fists clenched at his sides. "I am not your responsibility, you don't have to think about that. But you can't leave-" His voice cracked, and suddenly, tears were streaming down his face. He froze and looked at the droplets falling to his outstretched hands as if he was shocked by his own emotions.

Nanami's heart shattered at the sight of him breaking down. She reached out, pulling him into a tight embrace, his sobs muffled against her shoulder. "Shin, I..." she whispered, feeling her own tears brimming. "I don't want to leave. But I don't know what to do."

"Then please, I promise I'll pull my weight, just don't leave, please."

What was left of her heart was crushed. She held him tighter; she didn't want him to have thoughts like that. Not now, not ever.

As the room grew quieter, the sound of the TV hummed softly in the background. Nanami glanced at the screen and frozen. There he was—Valentino.

The actor. His face filled the screen, smiling charmingly during an interview. The interviewer was gushing over his latest project, his star status undeniable.