I can't live without you.. || Chanmin

Cracks in the Armor

Seungmin had always been good at keeping his emotions in check. He wore his calmness like armor—his steady, cool demeanor a shield against the chaos of their busy lives. But underneath that calm exterior, there were cracks. Tiny fissures that, until tonight, he had managed to hold together.

But now, as he stood in the hallway outside his room, the weight of everything that had happened in the past few hours was pressing down on him, harder than he could handle. His breath hitched in his throat, the walls of the dorm suddenly feeling too close, too confining.

It wasn't that he regretted what had happened with Bang Chan. Far from it. But the intensity of it all—the sudden shift in their relationship, the uncertainty of where it was going—was overwhelming. For so long, Seungmin had kept his feelings for Chan buried, convinced that it would be easier to ignore them than to face the possibility of rejection. But now that those feelings were out in the open, he couldn't stop the flood of emotions that came with it.

His chest felt tight, and the edges of his vision blurred as he tried to calm his breathing, but it wasn't working. The more he tried to hold it together, the faster his heart raced, until he felt like he was on the verge of collapsing under the weight of it all

Not here. Not now.

Seungmin pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to ground himself, but it only made the panic worse. He couldn't breathe—couldn't think—and the walls of the dorm felt like they were closing in on him.

He needed to get out. Away from everything.

Stumbling down the hallway, Seungmin wasn't even sure where he was going—his mind too foggy with panic to form a coherent thought. But when he reached Felix's room, he found himself stopping, his hand hovering over the door handle.

He hesitated for a moment, biting his lip as a fresh wave of anxiety crashed over him. He didn't want to break down in front of anyone—not like this. But Felix... Felix had always been a safe place. If there was anyone he could go to, anyone who would understand, it was Felix.

Before he could overthink it, Seungmin pushed open the door and slipped inside.

Felix was sitting on his bed, the soft glow of his phone lighting up his face as he scrolled through social media, earbuds in his ears. He looked up when Seungmin entered, pulling out one earbud and offering a small smile. "Hey, Min. You couldn't sleep either?"

Seungmin didn't respond. He stood frozen in the doorway, his breath coming in shallow gasps as the panic continued to claw at his chest. Felix's smile faded as he took in Seungmin's pale face, his wide, panicked eyes.

"Seungmin?" Felix's voice was laced with concern now, and he quickly set his phone down, swinging his legs off the bed. "Hey, what's wrong?"

The moment Felix asked the question, it was like a dam broke inside Seungmin. His legs gave out, and he sank to the floor, his hands shaking as he buried his face in his palms, trying to hold back the sobs that were building in his chest. But it was no use. The panic, the fear, the overwhelming emotions—everything came crashing down at once, and Seungmin couldn't stop it anymore.

"Seungmin!" Felix was at his side in an instant, dropping to the floor next to him, his arm wrapping around Seungmin's shoulders. "Breathe, okay? Just breathe."

Seungmin shook his head, gasping for air as the tears finally broke free, streaming down his face. "I—I can't—" he choked out, his voice barely a whisper. "I can't breathe..."

Felix's hand rubbed soothing circles on Seungmin's back, his voice calm but firm. "It's okay, Min. You're okay. Just focus on breathing, yeah? In and out. Nice and slow."