I can't live without you.. || Chanmin

Slipping away

Chan barely slept after that night in the hospital. Even with the other members constantly around Seungmin, a tight knot of fear had taken root in his chest—a fear that wouldn't go away. He told himself things would get better with time, that Seungmin would heal now that they knew the depth of his pain.

But deep down, he knew Seungmin was still fighting an invisible war. And Chan was terrified that they were losing him.

---

It happened on a rainy afternoon. The hospital room was dim, the heavy clouds outside blotting out the sun. Most of the members had gone back to the dorm to get some rest, leaving Chan alone with Seungmin for the first time in hours.

Seungmin had seemed quiet all morning—quieter than usual. He offered soft answers when spoken to, but his gaze was distant, and his hands fidgeted with the hospital blanket in a way that made Chan's stomach twist.

"Minnie," Chan said softly, pulling his chair closer to the bed. "You doing okay? You need anything?"

Seungmin gave a tiny shake of his head. "No... I'm fine."

There it was again—that cursed word. "Fine." It felt like a wall Chan couldn't break through, no matter how hard he tried.

"You sure?" Chan pressed gently, leaning in closer. "You know I'm here, right? You can tell me anything."

For a moment, Seungmin looked at him—*really* looked at him—and Chan thought maybe, just maybe, he was about to open up. But then Seungmin smiled. A soft, heartbreaking smile.

"You're a good hyung, Chan," he whispered. "Thank you."

The way he said it—final, like a goodbye—sent a chill down Chan's spine. Something was wrong.

"Seungmin—" Chan started, but Seungmin shifted under the blanket, as if suddenly exhausted.

"I just need to rest," he murmured.

Chan hesitated, a knot of unease twisting tighter in his chest. But he forced a small smile. "Okay, Min. I'll be right here if you need me."

Seungmin nodded, closing his eyes. Chan sat back in his chair, watching the rise and fall of Seungmin's chest, trying to convince himself that everything was fine.

But it wasn't.

---

Chan must've dozed off, lulled by the rain pattering against the window. When he woke up, the room was too quiet—wrong. His heart lurched in his chest as his eyes landed on the empty bed.

"Seungmin?" Chan's voice cracked as he shot to his feet, panic surging through him like a tidal wave.

The bathroom door was shut.

"Seungmin!" Chan pounded on the door, dread pooling in his stomach. "Open the door! Please!"

No answer.

Without thinking, Chan shoved the door open with all his strength, the latch giving way under his weight. And there, slumped on the cold tiles, was Seungmin.

Chan's breath left his body in a strangled gasp. Empty pill bottles lay scattered on the floor, and Seungmin's body was frighteningly still.

"No—no, no, no!" Chan dropped to his knees beside Seungmin, his hands shaking uncontrollably as he checked for a pulse.

There—faint, but there.

"Seungmin, stay with me!" Chan's voice was frantic, cracking under the weight of his fear. He grabbed the call button and slammed it over and over, shouting for help.

"Don't do this, Min. Please, don't leave me," Chan begged, his tears falling freely as he cradled Seungmin's head in his lap. "I need you. We all need you."

The door burst open, and nurses rushed in, pulling Chan back as they worked on Seungmin. He stumbled to the wall, numb with terror, watching as they administered medication and placed an oxygen mask over Seungmin's face.

Chan's whole body shook as Felix and Hyunjin appeared in the doorway, their faces pale with fear.

"Hyung, what happened?" Felix whispered, his voice trembling.

"He tried—" Chan choked on the words, his throat burning. "He tried again."

Hyunjin's knees buckled, and Felix grabbed him, holding him steady as the nurses wheeled Seungmin out of the room and toward emergency care.

Chan collapsed against the wall, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

---

Hours passed in agonizing silence. The group sat together in the waiting room, too stunned to speak.

Finally, a doctor emerged, her expression grim but not hopeless. "He's stable for now," she said quietly. "We flushed the pills from his system in time. But... he'll need more than just physical recovery."

The words cut through Chan like a blade.

---

When Chan was finally allowed back into the room, Seungmin was awake, staring blankly at the ceiling. His eyes flickered to Chan when he entered, but there was no relief, no emotion—just a tired kind of acceptance.

Chan sat down beside him, his heart heavy with everything he wanted to say but didn't know how to.

"Why, Min?" Chan whispered, his voice breaking. "Why didn't you tell me how bad it was?"

Seungmin's lips trembled, and he let out a shaky breath. "I thought... I thought it would be easier for everyone if I wasn't here."

Chan grabbed Seungmin's hand, gripping it tightly. "No, Min. It wouldn't. It would never be easier without you."

Tears spilled down Seungmin's cheeks, and for the first time, he let himself cry openly in front of Chan.

"I'm sorry," Seungmin whispered, his voice fragile and broken.

Chan leaned closer, his forehead resting against Seungmin's. "You don't have to apologize, Min. You just have to stay. That's all I need—just stay."

Seungmin nodded weakly, his tears soaking into the blanket.

And Chan held on—because sometimes, love meant holding on through the darkest moments, even when it felt impossible.