The Religious & The Damaged

35

Elias

  I walk into my room, and I immediately pull out my phone as I sit down on my bed.

  I text Joseph.

  are you okay? 5:52pm.

  I stare at the screen—my eyes unfocused as I bite my thumbnail, anxiously.

  He doesn't answer.

  10 minutes into waiting, Nick texts me.

  Yooo, come down. Everyone is here. 6:03pm.

  I sigh and leave the apartment, and I head down to Nick's.

  I can't stop thinking about Joseph, and I haven't since I left his house.

  I feel so guilty and worried.

  I hope he's okay. The anxiety is eating at me.

  I walk into the apartment, and the sound of laughing and talking coming from Nick's room immediately fills the room. I let the door close behind me as I ascend the main room.

  I take a deep, shaky breath; my hand on the doorknob, and I walk in. All eyes turn to me.

  "Hey, man." Nick says.

  "Hey, Lias." Spencer and Joey say in unison, and Kelsey just smiles.

  I shut the door. "Hey." I reply, and I sit against the bed; Nick above me.

  "You okay, man? You look like shit."

  I glance up at him briefly. I stare at my fiddling hands in my lap.

  "Yeah..." I say.

  I haven't told him about me and Joseph.

  I knew Joseph wouldn't want anybody other than Kelsey knowing, and I wanted to respect that.

  But fuck, I need to talk to someone.

  "You sure?" He asks, and I nod wordlessly.

  Everything will be okay tomorrow...

  And as we get further into the night, I check my phone about a dozen times, and I know Nick notices because every few times he asks me what's wrong, but I just say nothing.

  And eventually, he stops asking.

  And as me and the others leave the apartment, I turn to Kelsey and ask, "Have you spoken to Joseph?"

  She looks at me and stares for a brief moment, like she's processing the question, then she looks away.

  "Not since school."

  I look to the others, who leave the floor. "I'm worried about him."

  "Why?"

  I gulp hard, anxiety creeping back into my chest. "His dad walked in on us." I say, flatly.

  I feel Kelsey's eyes on me, but I don't look at her.

  I inhale shakily.

  "And he hasn't texted me back since I left." I add, my voice shaky now.

  There's a long pause before she says, "I'll text him, and I'll keep you updated."

  I nod. "Thanks."

  "I'll see you tomorrow."

  I nod again, and she walks into her apartment.

  I take a deep breath and walk down the hall to the stairs.