SEDUCTIVE EMBER'S || HEESUN 𝟏𝟖+ ||

Rescind - Chapter 26

Sunoo stepped off the bus, the cold bit into his skin the moment his foot hit the pavement. The city looked the same bustling with life, with people rushing past him, cars honking and the faint scent of coffee lingering in the air. But everything felt different to him, like there was a layer of glass between him and the world.

He was here for his results, to buy books, to do what any other student would be doing. The sidewalks were slushy with melting snow and the sky above was an endless stretch of grey but he barely noticed. His mind wandered, as it always did, no matter how much he tried to stop it.

It had been a few days since he learned that Heeseung was back. Jay had told him casually like it was nothing but just a passing mention that Heeseung had returned.

"He's fine, the injury wasn't deep." That's all Jay had said, before disappearing like a passing breeze, leaving Sunoo with more questions than answers. Days went by and he told himself it didn't matter. He didn't need to hear from anyone. He didn't need closure or explanations. It was enough to know there wasn't any permanent damage, right?

His heart, though it had been left to fend for itself. Sunoo decided he didn't care what his heart felt anymore. Maybe it was better that way. If it hurt, it hurt. If it didn't, then good. Either way it was something he had to carry alone. No one else's problem. Not Heeseung's. Not anyone's. Just his own burden to shoulder. Like everything else. He was strong enough to move forward without letting his heart get tangled up in Heeseung again.

The wind whipped at his face and he tugged his scarf tighter around his neck. He picked up his exam results from the university, flipping through them without really seeing the grades. It didn't matter. He pushed the papers into his bag and went straight to the bookstore, the warmth inside doing little to melt the ice that had settled in his chest.

He walked between the shelves, grabbing the books he needed for his next semester, his movements automatic. The feeling of adjusting, of just going through the motions had become second nature to him.

If he just kept moving, kept doing what needed to be done, maybe the silence inside him would stop screaming so loudly. Maybe the ache would stop reminding him that he hadn't heard a single word in weeks from him.

And the truth was, the silence hurt. It hurt more than anything else. More than Heeseung's absence, more than the mission, more than the long nights Sunoo spent worrying if he was even alive. Now, Heeseung was back and yet still gone. He wasn't coming back and maybe Jay had been right all along. Heeseung might not come back.

The thought rolled through his mind like a heavy stone sinking deeper into an ocean of everything he was trying not to feel. His heart didn't shatter like it had before but the cracks had spread like spiderwebs in glass, fragile and sharp and endless. More than anything, though Sunoo felt a twisted kind of relief. Heeseung was okay. He was fine. And that mattered more than Sunoo's heart.

As he crossed the street heading back to his Airbnb, Sunoo forced his thoughts away from Heeseung, from the ache. He had other things to focus on like his shift at the library later today and the stack of new textbooks he'd just bought. Study at home, work his shifts, move forward. That was all there was. One day after the next and next.

"I can do this." he thought to himself. "I have to." If forgetting was what Heeseung wanted then Sunoo would give it to him.

When he got back to the house, the space felt colder than usual. The pale winter light filtered through the curtains casting everything in a soft washed-out glow. He dropped his bag on the floor, pulling out the new books he'd bought earlier, placing them neatly on the desk. He ran his fingers over the spines, their smooth surfaces reminding him of all the untouched days ahead of him.