The Periphery

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Time and courage alone
can end this torment.
But enduring chasms of pain,
only to then inflict more,
on myself and others
seems like a disproportionate
amount of suffering
for the owl-eyed girl
who made pretend perfume
in her childhood garden.

They say not to seek out the thing
that finds you often enough,
but I feel at peace in his arms,
in the predictability of sadness.

Was the periphery our first god?
Was my cage preordained?
Between love and grief,
is there a softer kind of ruin?
Or must one always bleed into the other?

Would it be so bad to surrender
this spoiled fruit, swarming with flies?

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