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I was born in 1997.
Full of hopes and dreams until I lose grip of everything.
Creativity and obedience had taught me to become invisible.
It became my comfort zone, a yes person and a follower.
I was afraid to lead then or to become a leader of my own.
Truly becoming a people pleaser, scared of the unknown.
It all started in my college days.
I was forced to come out and play. Full of joyful and great hoorays.
I tasted the first cup of whiskey at the beaches.
Smoke the first cigarette that I don't even know it would turn into vices.
I still remember the first time I was addicted and obsessed to a man.
I remember everything as I withstand.
It's just that. It's way too hard for me to say no.
I'm confused, and I don't know where to go.
For three days I was asleep and hangover.
I am now full of depths with the things I couldn't ever remember, and I just really wanted to sleep forever.
Now the wind whispers somberness.
And the crisp of the dried leaves is screaming for fuzzy and cozy rest.
Everything's muted and in slow pase.
The deafening silence and the emptiness of this phase,
It makes me weak in the daytime, dreaming until it bleeds into nighttime.
Making me wide awake.
I can't even remember when was the last time I laughed and smiled that wasn't forced nor fake.
It's really difficult to take.
But I have no option but to live with it.
I miss the voice of my dad.
I missed the days that I wished to have friends at school; I thought it was the real meaning of sad.
But it was not.
The feeling of not knowing everything is a lot.
Innocence is pure bliss.
I even missed the days when I didn't really know there's a pornographic site for gays.
Now I understand why Richard Cory put a bullet through his head.
Self-blame is all I can dream; that's why sometimes I don't want to go to bed.
I am decorated with regrets.
I lost my family's trust when I spent 8 years in college.
And that's my silly story.
A story that is written with rhymes just to call it poetry.
Yes, I was born in 1997.
I wish it wouldn't happen again,
Never again.
