YOU ARE WRITE FOR ME

I NEVER TOLD YOU

I never told you how I was afraid back then.
You were always drunk and wasted over and over again.

I never told you that I was babied by my mom, pampering me with baby oil and powder.
The reason why I was taunted "Jose Rizal" by my classmate at school.

I never told you that I love the chair that you have made that very first day.
With my name written on the desk, the black ink never fades away.

I never told you that it became my favorite when you handed me a bunch of tangerines.
I never told you that I love your gardens and, vegetables and greens.

I never told you that I ones killed your baby chicken,
I'm sorry but all I wanted for that little chick was to swim.

I never told you that I'd be okay.
When I was admitted at Bongao Doctors Hospital.
I was transferred to Ciodad Medical because they thought it was already fatal.

I never told you how happy I am when we move to Zamboanga.
I never told you that I was also bullied in 6th grade, but it wasn't how it started the stigma.

I always never told you when I fell in love.
I never told you that you're the only person that I am very proud to have.

I never told you that you made my dream come true.
During my sophomore year, I was teased and bullied again, but that's okay; that's why I never told you.

In my college days, I never told you that I'm starting to feel it.
Some kind of strange, but I never told you that I'm starting to lose my focus and grip.

I never told you that I tasted and smoked the first cigarette.
I was afraid to tell you that I'm starting to be addicted to it.

I never told you that I'm starting to be a drunkard.
I never told you that I eagerly wanted to stop, but I was hangover, and it's so hard.

I never told you that I repeated the same shit, and I feel sorry and guilty.
Every night I pour and spit the same old story.

I never told you how stupid it was that I stopped for one semester.
For no reason. I never told you that every time I look into the mirror...

I see nobody but a guy who's untrustworthy with a slumped shoulder.
I never told you how I belittled myself and felt small.

I never told you that I was also trying to do my best to become the best version of myself.
I never told that I was weak enough and feel bad, and I have nothing on my bookshelf.

I never told you that every time I felt sad and lonely,
With tears in my eyes, I started to look for whisky.

I never told you that I stayed awake for poetry.
Rhyming words and collecting all the stars for my own bedtime story.

I never told you that I am so thankful and blessed that I graduated.
Even with the wrath of the pandemic, I still made it because that's what you wanted.

I never told you that I prayed every night until I felt sleepy.
For you and mom, I prayed for a long life that you'll stay healthy.

I never told you that it became more difficult for me.
I want to quit my job and be there for you to perhaps heal your poorly or queasy.

But it's too late already.
I never told you that I blamed myself badly.

I never told you that it's all my fault.
Every time I find myself alone, all I can wish and think of is for my life to halt.

I'm doing fine now,
It's just that I don't know where to begin again.
I don't know where to start because everything is still draining.

I'm lost and confused again, and that's really messed up.
I missed my way back.

But no worries, I'm a pisces.
I'm still picking up and collecting all my pieces.

I never told you that I am relentless.
I have ended the stigma ones, and now I needed to be dauntless.

I never told you that I keep your words and your advice.
Because I know that's my way to success.