I never expected that the person I loved so much would end up hurting me the worse.
The person I most trusted with my heart, life, and soul... could shatter it in pieces. And now I have to slowly go look and find them. Because you did hurt me. While in person, you don't see that. I'm just very good at hiding it. I don't like showing emotions towards anyone. I did in the past with you. You were the one who saw me at my most vulnerable. I felt comfortable crying and being my true self with you. Because I loved you.
I meant it when I said I couldn't break up with you. I was willing to make things work. And I knew.... how much you loved me.
While I thought I knew.
I knew that you did love me the time we spent together.
When you gave me small gifts to surprise me. The sushi you dropped me off my house when I was having a bad day. When you walked me to my car when it was dark. The look you gave me. That you still give me. I knew you loved me.
And yet I wonder why did you leave me? Because we were "too different?"
We made it work for almost a year so why? It doesn't make sense.
You left me, I felt so broken, I had lost my best friend. It changed my life. I never did anything to you. I never hurt you. I wasn't a bad girlfriend. I loved you dearly.
It hurts so much that at this point I feel so numb about it. I can't feel the pain. I've cried for you so much. I still do. Whenever I see you I just think "if things were differently"...
I don't know and I hope it wasn't your intentions to hurt me but I wanted to let you know it did. Too much.
But this was definitely a learning lesson for me at least. It's part of growing up and being an adult. You fall down but eventually get back up. While I know that I will move on from this situation. I know I will never forget you. The good and hard times. You're just a memory now.
