Err0r

Epilogue

Present Day

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     Pixal sat on the floor of the Samurai X cave. She let out a shaky sigh as she removed part of her wrist panel. She carefully looked the inside over and began tinkering with it.
"Ow-" she remarked as she pinched herself.

If anyone saw her they would say she looked normal and that nothing was wrong. She liked that. She tried to put on that same appearance so no one would ask questions. The ninja had left for something or another so she was left by herself. She was used to being alone at this point. She was alone all the time even when she was with others. Today was different than usual. She liked to come inside the cave to work on herself. This body wasn't as perfect as it had been before and in moments like this she wished it was. Either way she sort of found it peaceful by herself. Almost anyway. The noises that came from the tools echoed throughout the Samurai X cave. She didn't really like thinking while she worked. In times like this she couldn't help the thinking that came with the absence of others. A single tear fell down her face and she watched it fall. Pixal paused what she was doing. It was unlike her to get so emotional doing such a simple thing. The thoughts she thought of seemed so far away, so long ago. She couldn't remember the last time she had thought of them. Then she saw her green-eyed reflection in her metal skin. These memories had never bothered her before because she never thought back to them. She wasn't prepared for how much it hurt, just to think of painful things. She continued working on her wrist but a few more tears dropped down her face and she closed the panel. She hugged her arms around her chest.

Pixal pushed her tears away, she wasn't going to cry now. It was actually embarrassing in her mind. She didn't realize it would be so hard to control her feelings. Something was odd about these memories though. She noticed the fact that they seemed to be hidden. Then she remembered why, it was her who hid them. She hid them from no one but herself. It was to keep herself from the pain they brought her, or at least that's what she assumed anyway. In those memories she was always alone, even now she was alone. It almost seemed as if nothing had changed from then and now. She knew that wasn't true but it was hard to say otherwise. She still kept many of her human emotions hidden from the ninja. She felt sort of bad for thinking this way, for isolating herself but she couldn't help it. She couldn't help a lot of things but she could hide them. She brushed her silvery hair with her fingers to keep her mind occupied. There was no airflow inside the cave. Besides the occasional stray breeze. It felt almost suffocating but to a lesser extent. She didn't hate it but she didn't love it either. She did enjoy being here though but she always felt out of place.

Pixal knew she didn't fit in here, with the ninja. Or at least she didn't feel she did. She didn't fit in anywhere. She was a nindroid like Zane but she was still drastically different from the titanium ninja. She peered over at the Samurai X suit. It stood in the corner of the room and she gave a small smile. Thanks to Nya she was able to feel that she was at least doing something helpful. Pixal liked having a purpose. She liked feeling useful and doing something beneficial. Here she was able to do that. The memories she saw in her mind reminded her of Cyrus Borg. He hadn't spoken to her since- since Zane's initial death. Pixal knew that Borg had spoken to the ninja more than once he had helped them with new inventions. He was quite close with most of them, with Zane. She never heard from him again however. It hurt. Being forgotten by her creator. She wiped her tears away and scolded herself for acting so immature. He was busy, of course he wouldn't bother reaching out to her. It wasn't like she saved his life or anything. Pixal found herself feeling a bit annoyed. She wondered why she was still so hung up about this little detail. He never even cared about her in the first place. So why would he start now? But she still did.

She wondered what would happen if she visited him. What would he say then? She wondered if he remembered the terrified nindroid she once was. She liked to think she'd grown from what she had been. Whether that was true or not was unknown, to her anyway. She wasn't the same pushover-scared-of-everything girl. She knew that much. Even still she wasn't very satisfied with what became of her. This piece of metal that seemed like a former shell of her own self. She looked at her hands. They seemed similar but so different from what she was used to. Most people could metaphorically lose themselves and have to figure out how to put themselves back together. Pixal literally had to piece herself back together piece by piece. It took too long in her mind, much too long. She wanted to be herself again but now she didn't really feel like herself. At least not like the incredible Samurai X she was supposed to be. It was hard to live up to what Nya had accomplished. Pixal had an issue with telling herself she wasn't good enough. Nya had told her otherwise. She liked that. Even if she didn't fully believe it.