A TASTE OF CANDY POISON

CHAP 9🌸

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The weight of the king-sized mattress pressed down on me, a comforting heaviness that usually lulled me into a peaceful slumber. But tonight, sleep was a distant dream.

My gaze was fixed on the ceiling, a blank canvas of white paint that seemed to mock my restless mind.

A wave of memories washed over me, vivid and unwelcome. The grand ballroom, a sea of shimmering gowns and tuxedoed figures, the air thick with the scent of expensive perfume and anticipation.

It was the night of my parents' annual charity gala, an event that had always been a whirlwind of forced smiles and polite conversations.

But that night, something had shifted, something had broken the carefully curated facade of my carefully constructed world.

It had been a few months since I had met him, a whirlwind of red hair and piercing brown eyes and not so muscular but tall figure. He was one of the special guest of my parents, a son of a very close friend, a stranger who had somehow managed to slip through the cracks of my carefully constructed life.

We had danced, we had talked, we had shared a moment of fleeting intimacy, a moment that had left me with a lingering sense of guilt and a gnawing curiosity.

I had never expected to see him again, earlier at the school,I don't want to see and talked to him yet, especially not after that night, a night that had been a blur of champagne and stolen glances, a night that had ended with a reckless act of passion that I had tried to bury deep within the recesses of my mind.

I sighed, the sound lost in the quiet of the room. I rolled over, my back facing the window, the city lights twinkling like distant stars. The music of 'After hours' by The Weeknd, a melancholic melody that resonated with my current mood, played softly in the background.

I thought about prom night, the upcoming event that had been the subject of countless whispered conversations and hushed daydreams. It was supposed to be a night of magic, a night of firsts, a night that would be etched in the annals of high school lore.

But the anticipation, the excitement, was laced with a thread of anxiety, a nagging sense of unease that I couldn't quite shake.

I was supposed to be excited, thrilled at the prospect of dancing with Kylle, the boy who had captured my heart with his infectious laughter and his eyes that held a depth that I couldn't still quite fathom.

But the thought of prom night, of sharing a night of magic with Kylle, was tinged with a sense of guilt, a reminder of the secret I was carrying, the memory I was desperately trying to suppress.

I got up, my legs heavy with the weight of my thoughts. I walked to the window, the cool night air washing over me, a welcome respite from the stifling heat of my emotions. I pushed the window open, the sound of the city symphony, a cacophony of car horns and distant sirens, filling the room.

I leaned out, my elbows resting on the windowsill, my gaze fixed on the cityscape. The lights of the city, a million twinkling stars, seemed to reflect the turmoil within me.

I thought about him again, Nathaniel Hawthorne,about his red hair, his piercing brown eyes, his gentle touch. I thought about the way he had looked at me, the way he had made me feel,it was both good and painful,yet despite the hate and regret, there's still this feeling that's... making me crave for it once more.

I thought about Kylle, about his infectious laughter, his kind eyes, his gentle smile that I can't forget. I thought about the way he made me feel, the way he had captured my heart, the way he had become the center of my universe.

But the thought of Kylle, of sharing a night with him, was tainted by the memory of Nathaniel, a reminder of a secret that I couldn't go back to fix.

I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the thoughts, the memories, the emotions that were swirling within me. I took a deep breath, trying to find a semblance of peace in the chaos.

But the peace was elusive, a mirage in the desert of my emotions. I was caught in a whirlwind of conflicting feelings, torn between the past and the present, between guilt and hope, between the allure of the unknown and the comfort of the familiar.

I knew I had to make a choice, a choice that would shape the course of my life. But the choice seemed impossible, a daunting task that I wasn't sure I could handle.

I leaned back against the windowsill, the cool night air washing over me, a welcome respite from the stifling heat of my emotions. I closed my eyes, trying to find a moment of clarity in the chaos.

And then, I heard it. A soft, gentle melody, a familiar tune that seemed to soothe the turmoil within me. It was the song that had been playing the night I met Nathaniel, the song that had become the soundtrack to our fleeting encounter, 'Salvatore' by Lana Del Rey.

The melody, a bittersweet symphony of love and loss, washed over me, a wave of nostalgia that brought back the memory of that night, the night that had forever changed my life.

Although I will never forget that night, especially the moment when he looked at me with those eyes and how the way he touch and makes me feel good.I kinda loved too the way he kisses my bare skin that night,it was intoxicating but.. I don't how to really feel or react.

I want it again,to be honest.

I listened to the music, a sense of clarity began to emerge from the chaos. I realized that I couldn't escape my past, that the memory of Nathaniel would always be a part of me, a reminder of a time when I had dared to break free from the confines of my carefully constructed world.

But I also realized that I couldn't let the past define my future, that I couldn't let the memory of Nathaniel overshadow the possibility of a new beginning, a new chapter in my life.

I opened my eyes, my gaze fixed on the cityscape, the lights of the city twinkling like distant stars. I took a deep breath, the cool night air filling my lungs, a sense of peace settling over me.

I knew I had a choice to make, a choice that would shape the course of my life. And as I looked out at the city, at the endless possibilities that lay before me, I knew what I had to do.

I had to embrace the past, learn from my mistakes, and move forward. I had to live my life, to embrace the present, to create a future that was filled with hope, love, and joy.

I closed the window, the sound of the city symphony fading into the background. I turned away from the window, my gaze fixed on the blank canvas of my ceiling.

And as I lay down on my bed, the weight of the mattress pressing down on me, I felt a sense of calm settle over me, a sense of peace that I hadn't felt in months.

I was ready to face the future, ready to embrace the possibilities that lay before me. I was ready to be myself, to live my life, to love, to laugh, to dream.

And as I drifted off to sleep, the music of 'Cinnamon Girl' by Lana Del Rey was now playing softly in the background, I knew that I was finally home,that is one of my favorite music that can always calm me.