THE COFFEE HAS YOUR SMELL

CHAPTER 23: EGO

That kiss, which she had stolen from Alex that day at the docks, followed Kate in the last few weeks after their break up. It had also followed her the scent of the tormented sea and the song of the seagulls from above. A melody that she went to listen to every single day after their break up, thinking that this way, seeing that place daily and feeling all she had felt that day, she would get bored and move on eventually.

Nevertheless, Kate was lying to herself thinking about all this. Why exactly? Because there was one more reason why she went to the docks every day - she wanted to see Him. Yet, Alex was late to come. Actually, he didn't pass by that place after this or look for her after that day. He just... vanished somewhere and that's all, as though he wanted to make Kate suffer with his absence, punish her maybe, or just make her understand that she had been wrong that day when she chose the comfort and the habit of many days of waiting instead of the unknown and happiness.

Maybe Alex was right in thinking this. Maybe he was doing the right thing because, by moving away from her, he allowed Kate to feel his absence so much. At the same time, she missed so much those evenings when they read and listened to the piano music and when they felt the scent of the fresh scentful coffee that was surrounding them from everywhere. There wasn't only the smell of coffee that charmed them in that coffee shop. There was also the scent of the beech logs that was felt coming from the fireplace in front of which they had spent enough days, talking about a book, sipping from the glass of wine, and falling for each other because Kate was sure that what they felt weren't simple transient feelings.

Yet, besides their beautiful feelings for each other, there was also their ego. Kate was pretty sure of this - that the ego impeded them from seeing each other after that kiss. She also knew that she needed so little to be happy and smile again. Yet, she couldn't do violence to her conscience. She really couldn't do that because, despite her choice, about which she understood that it maybe wasn't the right thing, she couldn't break her word and end her relationship with Jonathan. Kate couldn't do that, even if she understood that their relationship ended years ago and that they were only hurting each other by staying together for an entire life. Why exactly? Because of Ward's sudden madness of having that wedding and a kid.

„As though he's doing everything to keep me with him."

Yes. Kate started to hate this truth - the one of living the loneliness together with Ward. She also felt more and more irritated next to him because, even if he returned to her and swore that she was the only woman in his life, Kate didn't trust him or what he said. At the same time, she didn't trust herself, the one who got to taste, even if for a short time only, that glass of happiness while being with someone else. „With a man that I hurt eventually when I made that choice with my brain and not with my soul."

At that moment, her whisper had perfectly woven with the whisper of the wind that was felt at the docks. A whisper that returned to her in the form of a kiss - of that kiss that had the taste of two soft lips as she had felt that day at Alex when they'd seen each other for the last time. It's when she felt their pleasant aroma. She felt it so intense and so alive that she couldn't replace it with anything else. And, because of the same kiss, she started to avoid Ward, who didn't lose any chance to kiss her lips and look for more.

Nevertheless, Kate couldn't give him all this, not anymore. Not after she had kissed another man. She really couldn't do that because all that time, which they'd spent far away from each other, that time when she had the chance to meet another man and she could feel like a real woman in his arms, made Kate understand that happiness was like Doyle told her - the result of a single person and not looking for it in other people. „At the same time, we wore this happiness in our hearts. We wore it tattooed on our skin and in the form of a short kiss - the one I gave you that day. Even so, I can't give up on reality and on everything I've been building all these years."