The Rants and Thoughts I am Chained To.

Death Vent

TW: Suicidal idealogy, talk of death, cursing, mentions of overdose, stress, isolation, overall just panic.


These medical bottles look so, so appealing.

The urge to take it, chug it all, every bottle I can access.

I want to be free. I want out of this fucking hellhole that is my life.

Everything is a damn cycle. I wake up, force in some food that I rarely enjoy, often just like paste to choke down to keep this flesh prision from decaying. I procrastinate, get stressed, have panic attacks, get suicidal. Always feel like shit and wanting it all to end.
I don't talk with irl friends much.
Upon moving towns, I left my friends behind me.
I'm homeschooled, so I don't really see kids my age much. Nowadays, my parents are the only contact I get in real life.
Any fucking damn contact I get from kids my age is online, these websites are my only access to the outside world.

Occasionally, my two friends from the town I moved from might text me or call for a bit.
But it's never longer than two hours.
It's not even daily, its not consistent.

I do have a friend here in this city, but they aren't really there. Their mom (a single mom) is practically isolating them from reality, I don't know what's going on with them. It's concerning as hell.

And the two frieneds from the past town almost always just their fucking drama

I can't fucking handle it

Why did fate trap me in this hell? I physically cannot get any new irl friends

I can't go to public school, because I have too many appointments to be there


I just want to be free, to be in a better place.








I promise, promise upon my life (ironic, right?) I won't commit it.
I just want to vent this out, I won't do anything. Don't worry.