Butterflies Volume II

Chapter 47

Violet bought some time to see Lola whilst the others scoped out their location. She paced back and forth in her apartment, her hands fidgeting out of control, trying to practice what she was going to say. On her kitchen counter sat an envelope of money and a plane ticket. She was doing the right thing, exactly as M had told her to. If she was going to get what she wanted, she had to keep the people she loved far away. If she was going to be the monster, she could at least shun away those who meant something to her.

That was what it felt like, shunning, as what else could she do to explain what she was about to do next? She could be the human M described, with all the love she had left to give, knowing how quickly it will vanish when she finally went for what she wanted. And their mission, that she was currently stalling, fell beside as she secretly felt as though she knew what they were encountering. Sage meeting with some mystery man, planting seeds for her overall goal. It made sense, and Violet's deal meant she was supposed to let it happen. And she would, because it was what she wanted.

There was a knock on her door, and Violet exhaled, pleased she decided to show up. Part of her feared she wouldn't, and she would have every good reason not to. But as she opened the door, a smile quickly grew on her face finding Lola standing there, even if hers was uncomfortably sour. She asked if she could come in, and Violet jumped to one side to allow her. Quietly, Lola walked in, her bag tucked tightly under her arm, unwilling to put it down. She didn't want to stay long, she didn't want to hear her out.

"I'm glad you're okay," her voice was like a mouse, reserved, "I heard about Tek Knight through Kimiko... She texted me..."

Violet leaned back against the door, as though she would leave rushed if she moved.

"I'm so sorry," she let it fall out, "I've been so shit to you... I haven't taken this seriously, I haven't taken you seriously. It's just so hard... Hearing what they have to say all the time. But I shouldn't have put it on you. You're one of the most important people in my life."

Lola turned her head to her, her long blonde hair shielding her. Her arms wrapped around her, hugging herself, and she definitely could have seen what she left her on the counter, but was choosing to ignore it. Violet was causing her early onset wrinkles with how permanently her face was scrunched in worry; all the glow of youth she used to have was gone. She was closer in age to Hughie and Annie, so young. How much Violet burdened her, when she already had such a perfect life.

"I just wanted to help you," Lola said, "I can't do what your friends do, but I still wanted to help. Because I care for you. But I didn't expect all this when I met you. It was so different back then."

"I know," Violet agreed, "I was different. I didn't know what I know now."

Lola could read her mind, because even a hint to what she was planning sent her across the room. It was what Violet would tell her, what she told M, that she was incapable of living a normal life. That the truth was that nothing could be normal until Violet did what she needed to do. She had to be the monster, that was who she was. Lola couldn't see that, she was still hopeful.

"I've been working day and night trying to clear your name, and you don't seem to care?" Lola spun back, "you just keep... Hurting yourself and not even trying to take care of yourself. You're obsessed with this, just like Butcher, and it's not good for either of you. Butcher left you so you could have normal life, and ever since he came back you've grown more and more angry... And to be honest I can't even defend everything you've done anymore."

Violet couldn't find herself retaliating, not like she would to anyone else.

"Billy is not the reason love," she replied, "it's them. It's always been them- Him. Homelander. I've been angry because what they did to me, to him... But you don't deserve to be the one to clear my name. I don't want you to do it anymore. This is all me, I need to take ownership of it."