Defender's Heartbeat 2

Chapter 31

Enzo

One of Louis's guards was constantly in my room, watching my every move. Wherever I went, he followed. I mean, he had to hold me because I couldn't walk properly. I still felt dizzy. I wasn't even allowed to close the bathroom door. Now, I had to endure this added discomfort until Papa came home.

Louis promised he would never tell Papa about what I had done. In that moment, when I took Venoxis, Papa didn't come to my mind at all. No one did. The only thing in my head were Papa's (Gerado's) words. His words made me hate myself, and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I was mad, and disappointed, and my mind was screaming at me to end all this so everyone who hated me would be happy when I was gone. It felt like a dream, and I couldn't believe I had done something like that to myself. I felt sad about Papa (Manuel). If he knew what I had done, he'd be devastated. I didn't want to hurt him. He had done so much to protect me, sacrificing sleep, enduring bullets and beatings, and making enemies just to keep me safe. Yet, I let him down. I didn't want him to know that I had disappointed him.

I was grateful to Louis for saving me, not because I wanted to live, but because Papa wouldn't want me to die. I thought Louis hated me, but I wasn't so sure anymore. He had spent the whole night in my room. He helped me go to the bathroom and gave me water even in the middle of the night. I didn't think he slept at all. Louis wasn't someone who talked much, so most of the time, he stayed quiet, staring at me. Maybe he thought I would try to harm myself again? Hell no. I would never do something that painful again. I still felt like my stomach was burning.

I would live for Papa no matter what. He didn't deserve to face such pain. I could pretend that no one in this world cared about me and consider taking my life. But deep down, I knew that even if no one else cared, there was one man who cared about me with every fiber of his being, in his soul and mind. For the first time, I realized that I didn't only belong to myself. I hadn't come this far on my own. It was Papa who had helped me live this long. So, in that case, my life didn't only belong to me.

I hoped I could trust Louis not to tell anyone about this.

Anyway, this new guard was a real pain. I even had to change my clothes in front of him. The thing was, I couldn't change my clothes alone, so he had to help me. Well, I couldn't blame Louis for this; it was a result of my own stupidity. Still, it was good to have company, even though this guy didn't talk much.

Louis

"What the hell did you say?" Pedro asked in shock. We were sitting in his office at home, and I had just told him what Enzo had done.

"You heard me," I replied.

"Are you telling me this now?" Pedro suddenly got up from his seat.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To talk to our little shit," Pedro said.

"No, don't do that. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone," I insisted.

"So what? He's not the boss here. I'm his guardian," he replied.

"Just pretend like you don't know," I urged.

"Is he alone now?" Pedro asked, his tone tinged with fear.

"No, there's a bodyguard in his room watching him 24/7 until Manuel comes," I said.

"That's good," Pedro said, visibly relaxing.

"I felt really bad seeing him like that," I said quietly. The image of him on the floor kept replaying in my mind like a nightmare. It was hard to erase it from my thoughts.