Defender's Heartbeat 2

Chapter 34

Gerardo

I could still remember the pain in my chest, and then everything went black. When I woke up, I was lying in a hospital bed. I knew exactly why I had a heart attack. It was because I had been thinking about Enzo and everything I had done to him over the years. The guilt weighed heavily on me, knowing that my words might have driven him to attempt to take his own life. He had never done anything like that before. Even though I hadn't shown anyone how worried I was about what he had tried to do, the guilt was eating me alive. I couldn't believe I had pushed him to the point where he thought ending his life was his only option. After days of endless thinking, my heart finally gave in.

I longed to see Enzo. I had finally given up on hating him. I didn't have the energy to hate him or treat him badly anymore. I no longer wanted revenge. All I wanted was to see him. I wanted to say I was sorry. I wanted to hug him. I hadn't hugged him once since Lorenza died. I hadn't watched him grow up because I never paid attention to him. I saw all my other children grow up, but not him. I tried to remember something from his childhood—anything—but all I could recall were moments of me beating him, the day he was kidnapped, or the day he was shot. Oh God, I didn't have a single good memory of him. For 17 years, we lived under the same roof, but I never noticed how my youngest son was growing up. I handed him over to a stranger to raise, and now he was calling that stranger "Papa."

I had never thought about death before—until I had a heart attack. I never imagined I would die someday. So there I was, hating my own son, destroying him little by little, believing I had all the time in the world to play this cruel game. But now, I finally understood that what I was doing was wrong. I couldn't die with hate in my heart. I wasn't sure if I had fully recovered yet, but before anything else, I needed to see him. I pressed the button on the remote.

A few seconds later, a nurse came in.

"Mr. Perez, you're awake. How do you feel?" she asked politely.

"My son..." I meant to say, "I want to see my son," but the words didn't come as easily as I had expected.

"Don't try to talk too much, Mr. Perez. You're not fully recovered yet. I'll let your son know you're awake. Would you like them to come right now?" the nurse asked. I nodded yes.

Enzo

I woke up in the morning and found Papa sleeping beside me. So he had finally snuck into my bed. I wrapped my arms and legs around him playfully.

"What time is it?" he asked in a sleepy tone.

"4 a.m.," I said, glancing at the clock on the wall. I had an analog clock with a gold frame and hands.

"Oh, I need to go for a walk then," he said, trying to get up, but then he paused, remembering something. He looked at me. "Maybe there's no need today."

"Oh, you think I'll do the same thing again?" I asked, a bit angrily.

"No, I just don't want you to be alone, that's all. Why did you wake up so early?" he asked.

"How would I know? I just woke up and you were in my bed. You always say you prefer the couch," I said.

"You were screaming in your sleep," he said seriously. "I thought it was completely over," he added with a worried tone.

"I thought it was over too," I said, feeling a wave of sadness. Why wasn't it over? I wanted it to be. This was pathetic. Am I going to scream in my sleep for the rest of my life? What if I marry Mia and I'm screaming in my sleep beside her? She'd divorce me the next day.