IPTYFM

CHAPTER XX

“Ah, mm, Johann, there!”

The beginning was nothing special. Today, Johann brought a bouquet of wildflowers to brighten up the dinner table, and I merely gave him a thankful kiss.

The start is always like this, nothing extraordinary. Just locking eyes or brushing fingertips, and the passion ignites.

“Ah, haaa, mmmm… What do I do? It feels so good.”

Now I understand why the villagers acted like crazed beasts consumed by lust. I, too, have become a creature driven by lust, having discovered pleasure.

Actually, it’s more accurate to say that it’s me who’s catching fire. Johann remains the same as before.

No, that’s not entirely true. He’s not completely the same.

Now, he doesn’t refuse outright if I insist. He complies when I ask. But there’s no initiative on his part. Whenever I request, he may not initially feel inclined.

Once we start, though, he enjoys it as much as I do, not knowing how to handle the pleasure.

So, one day, when I asked him why he seemed reluctant even though he enjoyed making love with me, I received an unexpected response:

“When I become a beast consumed only by lust, forgetting my humanity, do you find me disappointing or repulsive?”

I couldn’t understand why Johann had such concerns. It’s such a heartwarming sight to see a gentleman like him, who usually appears almost saintly, becoming a passionate creature shaking his hips just for me.

“Why would you think I’d feel that way?”

“You are more noble and pure than anyone in this world, yet I unleash my desires on you like a beast…”

Johann made a disgusted expression, reminiscent of when he faced women who lusted after him.

“Johann, that’s what I wanted to say.”

Whenever I cling to him, he rejects or hesitates, but honestly, I feel repulsive when I act like a beast in heat.

“So, was I disappointing or repulsive when I pestered and lusted after you?”

“There’s no way. You are always lovely.”

“I feel the same way. You, who love me, are irresistibly lovely to me.”

At that moment, Johann pulled me close, as if he couldn’t bear my loveliness. But then, he hesitated and said,

“But is this truly an expression of love? It seems more like satisfying instincts like a beast…”

“Johann, do you want to do these things with other women?”

“No, never.”

Johann recoiled as if he had heard the most dreadful sound in the world.

“So, how is this filling instinct like a beast? If you only want to do it with the woman you love, it’s an expression of love.”

Johann nodded at my words. However, there was never a change in him initiating our intimate moments despite acknowledging that our contact was love.

Of course, when I lift my skirt first, he transforms.

Occasionally, he truly becomes a beast with only instincts left. In those moments, he doesn’t let go even if I cry that he’s frightening, and he bites, sucks, thrusts, and attacks me as if he’s going to devour me all night.

“Johann, ah! Let go, let me go.”

“I can’t let go. Now, haah, you’re coming with me to hell.”

I was frightened at that moment, but I didn’t dislike it.

So, the next morning, waking up feeling incredibly refreshed and happy, Johann was on his knees, begging for forgiveness like a sinner.

“I did something to you last night that I shouldn’t have. I won’t do that again. As a punishment, I won’t touch you for a while.”

How is that a punishment for you? It’s a punishment for me.

However, if I lay there without clothes and without covering myself with a blanket that night, Johann, who couldn’t resist, would inevitably break his resolution and embrace me.

“Ahh, Johann, ah, I love you, huh!”

“Ugh, haah… Tomorrow, I’ll bring holy water and sprinkle it on you.”

I might truly be the devil corrupting a human being.

Even this faithful man succumbs to my temptation outside the bed. When I used to see people engaging in intimate acts outside the bed, I couldn’t understand them at all, but now I understand them.

The first place where I sucked on Johann was the stable. I approached him stealthily while he was piling up fresh straw and attacked him. Johann was surprised at first, trying to stop me, but eventually, he laid me on the straw pile, and that’s where we did it.

In the neighboring stall, the horses were staring at us intently, and outside the wide-open stable door, the landlady called for me. Our secret affair was the most thrilling experience of my life.

Johann promised never to engage in such immoral acts again, but whenever I lifted my skirt, he became a liar.

One time, while Johann had his head under my skirt in the barn, we were caught by the landlady. From that day on, Johann successfully dispelled any suspicion from the villagers that he might be a homosexual.

‘I’m glad my husband doesn’t like men, but who is Dana?’

Occasionally, when we were in the midst of passion, Johann would whisper the name Dana with a sad voice.

‘Who is Dana?’

There was no one in the village with the name Dana.

‘Could Dana be Johann’s first love?’