IPTYFM

CHAPTER Xlll

However, I leaned in, hoping to hear the reason why Johann was rejecting me.

“Even the innocent need to have some limits. A woman who won’t even suck it once out of disgust is not likely to fulfill any special requests you really want.”

What requests? Could it be that Johann has some extraordinary desires?

“Johann, I’m not as innocent as Rize. Whatever you demand, I can gladly fulfill. In fact, I get excited the stranger things are.”

However, no matter how seductive her words were, when Johann didn’t succumb, Brigitta finally began to entice him through actions. Lying on the hay, she lifted her skirt to reveal her buttocks.

“Uh…”

Brigitta, letting out a moan of pleasure, teased between her buttocks with her fingers, then provocatively gestured for Johann to come with her wet fingers. Only then did Johann, who had been silent, finally moved.

“Mrs. Zimmermann, I’ll consider the wages as charity for providing alms to a pitiful woman. Please do not look for me again.”

Johann turned and headed for the door. Brigitta, with an angry face, rushed to him and grabbed him, but Johann effortlessly shook her off.

“Oh…”

It was much rougher than when he pushed me away. Moreover, the man who had just looked bewildered when he brushed me off, now had an expression as if he were looking at a disgusting insect.

In an instant, Johann returned to his usual gentle self, but for some reason, a solemn atmosphere began to permeate. Perhaps it was because of what he said to Brigitta?

“Lust is a gift given by God to humans, in itself not a sin, but adultery is a sin. Confess your sin and pray for forgiveness from God immediately. I, too, will pray for Mrs. Zimmermann.”

“Ha, it’s not even funny. Are you supposed to be an angel of God? Don’t act like a better person than me when you’re just a dirty sinner like me.”

Brigitta shot back with a disdainful look as if despising him. There was no reason for Johann to be shaken by those words since he was different from that woman, but he seemed to be trying to regain his composure, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Mrs. Zimmermann, please expel the devil in your heart. The war where the devil disturbs the human heart, corrupting it into a mere beast, continues. Remember that we are not beasts but humans, and as humans, we must uphold our dignity.”

With a tone and vocabulary very different from his usual self, Johann finished his sermon and left the barn. Brigitta, looking dazed, simply watched him without trying to stop him.

Anyway, not Brigitta. Not another woman either.

There was another woman trying to seduce my husband. I followed him for about five days, spying on him, but Johann firmly rejected every woman who tried to seduce him, sternly admonishing them to seek forgiveness from God. Then, without fail, he headed to the church.

‘Even though he doesn’t commit adultery, still…’

My husband is strange.

***

I also gave up trying to seduce Johann.

Lately, I felt ashamed of committing sins like lust and jealousy, wondering if I had been seduced by the devil. Although I wasn’t as faithful as Johann, I wasn’t afraid of God’s wrath, but it was scary to be treated by Johann as if I were a disgusting insect.

On one hand, I gradually guessed what the unusual secret of my husband might be, but the thought of it being revealed as the truth was even more terrifying. I didn’t want to lose him. So, I tried to let things be and live peacefully as if nothing had happened, but the peace was shattered after a week.

“It’s him.”

Brigitta came rushing in with the police.

“Johann, run away quickly.”

However, Johann quickly told me the hiding place where he had stored the money he had saved up and urged me.

“If I get arrested, take that money and run far away. If, by any chance, you get caught by the police, say you have amnesia and don’t know anything.”

Then he willingly approached the police.

“Are you Mr. Johann Renner?”

“Yes, I am Johann Renner, what’s going on?”

“A report has been made stating that you are a homosexual.”

In the end, my husband’s secret was revealed to the world. My vision darkened.

Homosexuality is illegal. According to the anti-homosexuality law, homosexuals are taken to mental hospitals. However, this is a lighter punishment. If it is judged as a serious crime, they can be sentenced to prison.

I began to suspect if Johann might be homosexual, so when we went to the city for a day trip, I secretly searched through legal documents at a bookstore. But now, it was wartime. It was time for criminals who needed to go to mental hospitals or prison to be brought to the forefront as bullet catchers.

Whether Johann hid the fact that he was homosexual and married me, I didn’t want to lose him. I felt so anxious that I thought I might faint, but somehow, Johann seemed much more relaxed now than before hearing the charges.

“This is ridiculous. Mrs. Zimmermann, on what grounds did you accuse me of being a homosexual?”

The officer shifted the responsibility to Brigitta, who stood behind him as a shield. Brigitta’s eyes showed she was arguing why he was asking that.

“That woman.”

Brigitta pointed at me first.