This is not a game

Glorious Bastards: Mandarin Pu'er

Eli sets the electric kettle on and waits next to it, watching the water through the glass walls of the kettle. He needs it hot, but not boiling, the right temperature for a comforting mandarin pu'er, Kai's gift. Tea is a hug in a cup, and Eli is looking forward to it: he can do with as many hugs right now, metaphorical and otherwise, as possible.

Qi Yi takes a seat at the table. While the water heats up, they both remain silent, lost in their own thoughts. Eli processes what happened in waves: one moment, he's surprised at how strongly he reacted, and the next, he finds himself on the verge of a panic attack again. He distracts himself with questions: How does Qi Yi know Silver's real name when even Eli didn't? What exactly was he threatening Silver with? Where did he learn to fight like that? And why did Silver call Eli his lover (when last time it was "friend")? What happens next?

"Do you think he'll come back?" Eli asks tonelessly, after turning off the kettle once the water is hot enough. "I can't count on you magically showing up every time to rescue me... I need to... I don't know... learn how to handle him on my own."

"He won't come back," Qi Yi says. "But just in case I'm wrong, you shouldn't be alone for a while. Can your friend, Reggie, stay with you?"

As he prepares the tea, his hands so used to the ritual they barely need any of his attention, Eli imagines Reggie meeting Silver. He frowns and shakes his head — that wouldn't end well, especially if Reggie found out about Silver's role in Eli's life and especially in his near-death.

"On second thought, I'll be fine. I think you scared him pretty good... What was that, by the way? Xiao Min? What did you dig up to enrage him like that?"

Qi Yi sighs but allows him to change the subject.

"Nothing special. But people who are desperate to hide fundamental parts of their lives are easily frightened. I suspect Xiao Min doesn't want to be cut off from his family's bank account."

Eli knows Silver had hidden from his parents that he was gay and that he played Battlescape. Given his own experiences, Eli had never questioned it, figuring it was a conservative family with rigid ideas about how life should be lived — although, unlike his own family, with money and connections. He'd still hoped Silver wouldn't hide him forever... he was naive. Love blinds. Still...

"No one deserves to be forcibly kicked out of the closet," Eli says. "Please don't use me against him."

Qi Yi frowns but nods. "I have other ways."

"And you are scary when you're angry, evidently," Eli teases. He pours the first round of tea and sets the cups and a jug, where he mixed a few brews like a total barbarian, on the table before sitting across from Qi Yi. "Where'd you learn to fight like that?"

Qi Yi shrugs. "I don't know. Everywhere. It doesn't matter. I can take care of myself... and of you, too."

"I once got into a fight for Silver," Eli recalls. "Some random drunk guys harassed him just because he was Chinese... idiots. Turns out, though, I don't know how to fight," he laughs. "Will you teach me?"

Qi Yi shakes his head. "I'm not a good teacher. But I can help you practice if you sign up for a class."

Eli imagines practicing with Qi Yi. Imagines how Qi Yi would catch his arm, like he had with Silver earlier, twist it behind his back, and manhandle Eli wherever he wants him. How Qi Yi might pin him to the ground, straddle him...

He mentally slaps himself, but it doesn't lessen his desire for contact. There's a table and two cups of tea between them, along with his own request for time.

Eli wonders: Has it been enough time?
Eli wonders: He's sure about his feelings, but what if he's wrong?
Eli wonders: What if testing those feelings now will ruin everything?