Choose Me

Shots, Mud Facials, and Good Times

My eyes, sore and burning. My arms, tired and weak. My body, pushed to it's limit. And Charlie, crying.

A whole night and no rest except for an hour, Charlie's crying still coming in waves. I make an appointment for her doctor and tell Aaron he's in charge today but he insist on driving with us so i put Alexis front and center. I put Charlie in a dress with the top half denim and the skirt part flowery, she holds still while i braid her hair and I wish Aaron was here to watcher so i can get dress but he has to drop off the keys and items needed for the day to Alexis. I drag her play pen to my room and quickly curl my hair to waves and throw on a black dress. Seeing i wore a similar dress yesterday i add a dark wash flannel and matching knee highs. Charlie doesn't stop crying while she tries to eat and cries louder when i take it away. "You can't eat and cry!" I shout at her and she gags on the another piece of banana and i take it out of her mouth which makes her cries boom. I sit against the counter covering my ears and the noise doesn't stop.

Frustrated I scream at her, a real frustrated scream. She quiets and i think she's about to laugh when she starts crying again. As soon as Aaron is back I rush her to the car smashing daisies under my feet, not caring about the pathway. The drive brings her to a whimper and the foreign scenery distracts her from crying out loud. Parents in the waiting room look at me and Aaron with a disapproving face. This isn't my child bitches! Thankfully I'm taken back quickly and Charlie is weighed. "She's a bit underweight but not too much." The nurse tells me and i think of strangling Helen. She looks at us with a weary look and i don't blame her, I'm leaning against Aaron with darker under eyes which are probably still red and my hair which didn't keep for long is frizzy and hard to tame. Aaron Looks about the same.

"She doesn't want to eat much." I lie and she hands me a food pamphlet that will give her the extra weight she needs. She asks me why i have come in and i have to shout over Charlie's crying and struggle to hold her still. I tell her about Elise's careless actions and she looks at me funny.

"This is Helen's daughter? Helen Petred?" I nod my head and she leaves the room quickly, I look at Aaron and he shrugs his shoulders. My palms get sweaty and i hold Charlie closer to me. She comes in with a man in a doctor's suit and leaves us alone with him.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Fritz." he extends his hand and i shake it. "Can i have a look at her stomach?" I lay her down on the bed and he looks at her stomach and gives her a whole work up. "I'm surprised." I look at him confused and ready to grab Charlie and run if i have to. "When i delivered Charlie two years ago, i was expecting her back for the monthly check ups. I haven't seen her since. I'm surprised she's alive. She'll need her whole round of immunizations and some testing to make sure everything is in order." He hits me with all of this at one time and the nurse comes in with a tube of cream and rubs it on Charlie's stomach.

"What is that?" The cream makes her stop crying and the red is slowly going away. It's for bites and relief , it's supposed to cool the skin and induce healing. I guess I've been waited on for a while. Uncle Charlie had me on a list for Dr. Fritz. I almost cry with Charlie as she gets her five shots. The bumps on her stomach have calmed down and I've been given two tubes of ointment. Aaron tells me we need to stop at the cafe and that's all i remember before I'm asleep with Charlie in the back.

The car ride to the cafe is quick, too quick. Charlie has stopped crying and is asleep for the first time in 30 hours. When we pull up i see Harry walking in with a parade of cameras following. Aaron parks on the street after the cafe and calls Axle. He informs me that the cafe is in full swing and they are in need of more staff. He gives me a look and i nod. Charlie's eyes barely stay open after the half of the chicken cream soup and i put her to bed. I look around the house and nothing needs to be cleaned. I head to the basement with the monitor and let the fluorescent lights flicker on. Boxes and boxes are stacked and I head to Uncle Charlie's corner. I sit in the dusty chair and look at the dead flower pedals on the desk that have fallen from the dried stems. The many hours i spent down here watching him draw and whistle old tunes all come back to me. His drawing stay covered and the room had turned to a depressing grey gallery named after him. I look at the clock and Aaron should be coming home soon, he's supposed to close the cafe early today.