Dear Elise

Chapter 19

I know I should wait, to avoid suspicion.
I know.
But I find myself too impatient, after having to just look at Sam all through breakfast, to wait another minute.
The second the corridors are empty, I'm hurrying to her room.
Every step is agonising, keeping a graceful pace more painful even than when I stepped onto that broken glass.
I can hear her chatting to her maids cheerfully, because of course she does, because she's the most upbeat, fun, kind girl in the world. They even call her Sam. She treats then like her friends, and somehow that small fact makes me fall for her just a little bit more.

I can feel my hand shaking as I knock on her door. What's wrong with me? Everyone else still seems to think I'm calm and composed, weak. And yes, I'm a mess... but I can be stubborn when I need to be.
Sam sees it, I know she does.
Like now, when my knocks echo through the hall and the chatter from inside the room stops. The second she opens the door and sees my face, I have this feeling she knows.
"Hello, Sam. Can we talk about something? Just... just for a moment."
Inside, I'm kicking myself. Did I just stutter? But Sam just smiles at me, and gestures for me to come in.
She turns to her maids. "Hey, why don't you three take a break? I think me and Elise need to talk in private."
They nod, looking between us and quickly hurrying out. I think one of them even smirks.

The nerves have begun to kick in.
I pluck at the fabric of my dress nervously, and my voice sounds shaky when I speak.
"Silvia would totally make a fuss of correcting your grammar..."
Oh God, what am I saying? Someone should tape my mouth shut.
But Sam just smiles more.
"Oh yeah, she totally would." She clears her throat, imitating Silvia's annoyed, high voice. "Lady Samanrha, it is 'Elise and I', not 'me and Elise'. That is most certainly not a proper way for ou to speak if you want any chance of becoming the future princess!"
I can't help it, I burst out laughing. The nerves are making it worse, but it was funny anyway. I trail off, looking at her again.
"And... do you?"
She frowns, looking confused. "Do I... what?"
"Do you want to be the future princess?"
She doesn't respond immediately, which just prompts me to keep blabbering.

"Because I don't. Want to be the princess, I mean. Because I don't want to marry Prince Maxon, because I don't like him, because I... I like..."
Sam grabs my hand. The grin is gone from her face, and she has a serious expression I've never seen before on her face.
"Like who?" Her eyes are so gorgeous. They're green. How did I not notice that before?
She looks so intense, and I can't look away for even a second. Her voice, so different from her usual energetic or teasing tones, has lowered to an almost inaudible whisper.
"Who do you like, Elise?"
"I... like you."

There. The words are out, and it's like a breath of fresh air. So easy, but so scary at the same time.
And now I've started, I don't want to stop.
"And I know you apologised for kissing me, but the truth is, I don't regret it at all."
There's a moment of silence, and I feel my face heating up.
Sam's next words knock all the breath from my lungs.
"Would you do it again?"
In a heartbeat. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but all I can do is nod.
She steps towards me, so close our noses almost touch.
"That was... that was a yes, by the way-"
She laughs at my nervous, confused response, and presses her forehead against mine. I swear my heart has a palpitation.
"I should've been clearer, huh? Well, then. Elise Whisks... you're the most amazing girl I've ever met, and I like you too. Can I kiss you?"
I hope she can't hear how frantically my heart is beating, like a butterfly in a cage.
"Yes. Yes, you can."

I close my eyes as she finally closes the gap between our faces, and I feel her lips on mine. The feeling I'd dreamed of for days, the feeling that almost ruined my life.
But this can't ruin anything. It's too good of a feeling, it just feels so right. How could I ever think that this was wrong, no matter what my family said?
She has her hand on my cheek, and I can't help but lean into it. When was the last time someone held me this carefully and considerately? It's like she's afraid of breaking me, but our hesitation is what makes the moment so beautiful.
She's beautiful.
When we pull away, her eyes are the first thing I see. Sparkling and stained a delicate green, like a pond in spring.
She glances at my lips, then back up to meet my own eyes, a wide grin spreading across her face.
"How did I ever get this lucky?"
Her softly spoken words take me by surprise, but before I can even answer, she's kissing me again.

I don't know how long it's been as I run into my room, where Beatrice and Sara are mending one of my dresses. I recognise it as the one I was wearing when Sam first kissed me.
The thought makes my smile widen  until I feel like my face will crack in half- which makes Beatrice raise her eyebrows at me. Or maybe it's my messed up hair, flushed face... there are too many features she could notice.
And as expected, she pounces on me the second I close the door.
"Lady Elise! Who was it?!"
Before I can gather my thoughts enough to form a coherent answer, Sara rushes over to interrupt the sudden ambush.
"Bea, that was very rude, you can't just-"
"It's fine."
I would usually be surprised at my own confidence. Maybe it's the rush of dopamine still coursing through my veins, but I don't feel scared at all.

"Beatrice, I... don't like Prince Maxon."
She rolls her eyes. "Well, obviously. Now c'mon Miss Elise, spill."
I take a deep breath. "I... I'm... I like Sam. Lady Samantha, that is..."
Beatrice grins. "Oh, I knew it-" Sara cuts in. "You did not, you were guessing every person you could think of before-"
"-oh shush, Sara."
I smile. Somehow, the familiar bickering of my maids puts me at ease. Beatrice turns to me, still grinning.
"There's nothing to worry about, Miss Elise. Who can complain about two lovely ladies together?"
Sara sighs and sits back down, apparently giving up on restraining Beatrice's excitement.
I look at both of them. With my friends by my side, it truly does feel like everything will be okay.