Dear Elise

Chapter 3

The next morning, as I sit down at my place for breakfast, it's obvious I've missed something. Thankfully, Zoe and Emmica come over and start chatting to me, allowing me to fill myself in on what I've missed.
From what they're saying, it seems like Lady America had a date with Prince Maxon last night - the first date of the Selection so far.
I'm itching to know details, as are the others... I can see everyone anticipating the gossip that might come from the first date at the palace. But I, like seemingly everyone else, don't want to be too obvious. So I wait.

"...was it?" I miss the first part of Kriss's question because of how quietly she whispered it. However, everyone is now focused on America, perhaps hoping to glean something, anything, from her response.
She takes in a shallow breath, looking nervous. I feel sorry for her... I would be too, with all those eyes on me.
"Indescribable."
Tiny's quiet voice pipes up from where she's sitting at the table. "How did he act?" America pauses again, seeming hesitant, before answering. "Not at all how I expected him to."
Several girls continue to speak up, and they no doubt would've continued, if it weren't for the shouts that suddenly begin outside. The king speaks up quickly, running over to a window. "To the back of the room, ladies!"

Everyone except from the royal family looks confused, but girls start to stand up and walk towards the head table. Samantha grabs my sleeve as we start to make our way up too.
"What's going on?"
I stop, turning to look at her. "...I don't know. We should probably-"
A crowd of guards run into the dining hall, bolting the doors with terrifying bangs.
Samantha, still holding onto my sleeve, pulls me with her as she runs to the back of the room with the other girls.
"Samantha, do you think it's the rebels?" I try to keep the nervous tremor out of my voice, but my fear and confusion still infiltrate my usually calm tone.

She stops when we reach the very back of the room, watching the king, queen and Prince Maxon pulling some kind of strange metal covers over the windows. "I guess it must be. I can't think of anyone else that would attack the palace like this." I swallow nervously, determined to keep a calm exterior, even if my mind is in turmoil.
Samantha looks at me, smiling reassuringly. "It'll be okay, Elise... the royal family survive these things all the time, right?"
I look at her, taking a deep breath. "Yes. Yes, i suppose they do..."
She can tell I'm scared. I don't know how, but she can... no matter how much I want to seem calm and cool like usual. That scares me even more. And before I know it, my breathing is slowly speeding up again until it's erratic, coming in long, shaky gasps.
My breathing is affecting the rest of me, too.
It feels like adrenaline has been shot right into my veins... I can feel my heart pumping rapidly, and the edges of my vision start to go fuzzy.

I'm so dizzy... everything's spinning...

I hear a few loud thumps, but don't register them fully.

I'm dying... I can't breathe...

My mind is racing, I feel lightheaded, and- "Elise."
I snap back to the present moment, looking Samantha in the eye. Her hands firmly on my shoulders, she looks at me with a determined gaze that somehow comforts me.
Her words break through my stupor, easing the dizziness slightly. Her hands warm and firm on my shoulders... grounding me, somehow. "Breathe. Slowly. In... and out."
My mind isn't allowing me to fully comprehend what's going on, but I try my best to follow her instructions.
In... and out.
I can see her breathing in too. I close my eyes, listening to her breathing as best I can in the chaos surrounding us.
It's better that way. I can't see the room spinning like this.
In... and out.
I breathe with her for a while. I don't know how long, but by the time I'm feeling normal again, I've realised that everyone's too scared to notice my little breakdown anyway.
Some girls are crying, and I can see Anna praying quietly in a corner. Celeste and Bariel stand together, obviously trying to look intimidating, and Prince Maxon is walking around, doing his best to comfort the most upset of the girls.

I turn back to Samantha, who's watching Price Maxon intently.
"...he's very kind, isn't he?"
I'm glad to find that my voice has lost most of its shakiness. I don't need to look any more pathetic today. Samantha turns her head to look at me quickly. "Huh? Oh..." She smiles gently. "...yeah. And hey, didn't I say you could call me Sam?"
Her usual grin has returned, despite the chaos around us. I reply after a few second. "Ah, yes... I'm sorry. ...Sam."
She nudges me slightly with her arm. "You really haven't talked to many people, huh? ...are you feeling better, now...?"
I look away, slightly embarrassed that she's seen me in such a state. "Yes..."
She nods, crossing her arms. "Good."

Zoe walks over to us, hands on her hips. She's obviously trying to appear confident, but she jumps as there's an especially loud bang, and hurries over to us quickly. "...this is horrible isn't it? When do you think it'll be over?"
"...I'm not sure." I say quietly. "It can't last that long, can it...?" Usually I wouldn't speak up, but talking with Sam has been so nice. Maybe trying harder to make some friends wouldn't hurt...
so I try my best to be involved in the conversation, as we switch rapidly from talking about the attack to talking about Prince Maxon, then our lives before the Selection.
And yes... it does feel quite nice to be involved for once.

The three of us talk for most of the ordeal, but as soon as we're allowed to we all hurry back to our rooms. I don't think anyone wants to stay in the dining hall for much longer after such a horrid experience...
As I'm walking out, I see Celeste shoot me a look. She seems to be assessing me, and I wonder for a second if she saw me break down. Celeste seems like the kind of girl who would use that against me...
I hurry even more, wanting to get back to the peace and quiet of my room more than ever now.