Innocent Criminal

Chapter 12 You can cry now

The cell fell into a light silence, but to Haru it was still suffocating. Kane was still in the room, and he was still determined to stay strong. But the storm inside was raging on inside and fighting to break out. He was hurting so much inside, but he'd been hurt before and he told himself this wasn't the worst he'd been through.

Im fine.

He told himself.

Im fine, Im fine, Im fine.

But it wasn't helping and his mind was being consumed with more and more chaos. Chaos so loud and violent, building higher and higher, banging against his skill, demanding release but Haru refused. His mind was spiralling so hard and fast in the silence he hadn't heard Kane walk up to his bed side, and kneel down, and how his eyes softened with concern. 'You can cry now.' Kane softly spoke, yet it still startled Haru. His eyes darting up to his cell mate.

'What?' Haru asked.

'You can cry now.' He repeated to Haru's confused expression. 'You were hurt. And you've been strong for a long while love, but it's ok to cry now.' Haru was stuck for a second, he wanted to resist like he'd done his whole life. He wanted to bare it alone, and suffer silently like every other day in his life. But Kanes voice was so soft, and gentle and comforting. It was a tone he hadn't heard since he was a child on the off night he mother was drunk enough to fake love. He'd suffered so much, and Haru realised he needed something. He just needed something. He felt he was going insane, that this would be the last straw and he'd finally lose it all.

Kane waited patiently, remaining calm with a kind smile. And when Harus face finally scrunched and the crashing waved and torrential storm inside finally broke with tears and concealed whimpers. He asked ' can I hug you?' And even though the thought of human contact disgusted him before, Haru found himself nodding desperately.

Within the second Kane had engulfed the small boy entirely on the bed. He held firm and tight as if keeping Haru from shattering to pieces.

Haru sobbed uncontrollably. He let everything go in his small whimpers that held agony beyond what could be told. He was barely hanging on to reality, consumed by the pain and utter rage, the pity on himself, the hate scolding his soul. The only thing grounding him to reality being the warm, firm embrace. The deep gentle voice telling him to breathe, that it's alright, that he was going to be safe now.

Safe. He didn't believe those words, he'd never even known what safe felt like. But he wordlessly accepted Kanes reassurances as sobs racked through him,suffocating him and pulling him under the surface to drown.

Eventually his body had given out completely, leaving the frail young man passed out in Kanes arms, still clinging desperately to his shirt. His face had gone a rosy shade of red under his dark skin, his eyes puffy and Kane knew that it would pain him come morning. But for now, it was lights out, and Kane couldn't bring himself to let the man go. Instead slipping the covers over the both of them and caging his body around Haru in every possible way. He felt this need, primal and extreme, to protect Haru from the evils of this world. To do everything in his power to see this man's soul come alive again, to gain revenge on all the suffering that should not have occurred. Kane was realising his goals and desires started to revolve entirely around Haru. Above police work, above himself, he just need Haru to be ok.

The realisation didn't scare as much as it should have. Instead it gave him a fleeting sense of peace and purpose in the midsts of the chaos.