I love this song...

Part five: take me downtown

A couple months pass and we had fallen into a rhythm of calling EVERY night then he would surprise me with a new date, and new bouquet of flowers, every Saturday night. That was until we found out he was getting deployed to Oklahoma. Out of all places, Oklahoma????? I was pissed. He was going to be gone for two entire months. I know compared to other deployments that is not long but still, we were just getting a routine down and now he has to leave? We haven't even made out relationship official, to be completely frank... we still haven't kissed.

I've been too nervous to be the one to lean in and just go for it. Especially because he literally told me he likes to do everything first. Which is fine, but if he wants to do it first he better hurry the fuck up before his ass is in damn tornado Vally or some bull shit.

I still have a week before he goes, so there is still a chance. I just hope when he does leave he doesn't find some other girl better. Sarah thinks this Friday he will do it all, ask me to be his girlfriend (as corny as it is, I'd appreciate the title) and just kiss me already.

It's been killing me that he hasn't done it yet. Every time I sorta lean in or he leans in, he just hugs me. Like bro are you joking. We have been hanging out/going out for 2 and a half months. The least you could do is kiss me already.

But on a happier note, our dates have been actually magical. Every time he plans something unique and different. Sometimes we go downtown, sometimes it's dinner and a movie, or literally he will pick me up just to drive back to his house, cook, and just talk.

The talking is the best part of any date we have. Our conversations have so much substance to them. There is never a dull moment. Even when we have gotten deep, talking about our families mostly, he is open to sharing his true thoughts and emotions to me instead of hiding them to seem "tuff" like most men do.

It didn't make him seem week either. The other night he shed an entire tear, it was crazy. I was shocked I didn't cringe, I know that sounds shitty but hear me out. Most guys are either "too tuff to cry" (bullshit) or cry "too much" (I am aware that sounds bitchy). The "tuff guys" can't stand to see anyone have any emotions let alone when they feel some themselves, which leads to gaslighting and flat out angry issues, gross. Then the guys who to "cry too much" are the stereotypical "nice guys" who play the victim constantly and just can't quite seem to get their shit together.

But Jake, was way different. He found the balance. I guess growing up with sisters can do that? I don't know, I guess just letting your emotions out when you feel them can keep you sane? (Who would have thought?!, jokes)