The Book of Plot Twists

A Game of Guess Who

Everyone is always asking me what I want to be when I grow up. I tell them I want to be a fire fighter, a police officer, a teacher-but these are just the things that I know they want to hear.

What I really want to be when I grow up isn't a profession, it's more of an idea. A concept. Something that plenty of people are but there are just as many people that aren't. Something that this world needs to survive, yet it's something a lot of people take for granted.

What I want to be is something that I'm currently not allowed to. In fact, most people would argue that it has already been decided, by forces beyond my control, that I can't be.
Even though I strongly feel like I would make a great one. I would be an inspiration to kids like me all over the world. I would win awards, even.

My parents, however, have other ideas. They think I should train to become a sports player or compete in the Olympics because I run really fast. Don't get me wrong, I love running. The wind against my skin, the exhilarating feeling of beating your mile time- it's all wonderful.

But what I really want to be feels better. At night, when I'm asleep, I dream about it. In my dreams, I come out in my outfit and tell people what I've actually decided to be when I grow up. They cheer for me. They're proud of me. And in my dreams, I finally feel at peace. I finally feel like I belong.

Being awake is a different story. It's like a nightmare that never ends and only I know what's going to happen.

You know, all throughout your childhood they tell you that you can be anything you want when you get old. They say that you can do anything you set your mind to.
But they lie.
I've seen other people try to be what I want to and they never succeed. The people telling us that we can be and do what our hearts desire are the same people that tell you it's wrong. "You can't do that, or that, and definitely not that," they'll tell you. They are the people who criticize the most.

I once heard a story about a girl named Caitlyn who wanted to be something similar to me. In the end, she shot herself because even though they told her to "follow her heart," they refused to recognize her when she did.

So you see, I can never be what I want when I grow up.

What I really want to be-haven't you guessed it?
Is a woman.