erik menendez // if you love me..don't let go

chapter twenty-three

Erik's POV

 It was official. Scarlett did not run away when I spilled my heart out to her. All of my imaginings, my what ifs, my fears, they were all unnecessary. Scarlett still "more than liked me", which was also a crazy thing. I told her that out of true emotion, but what if she only said that back just so I didn't feel bad? She might be hiding all her true feelings until the right moment, where she will call us over and done with. But when I looked at her, I saw and felt true love. It was so weird when I thought that. Because, did I actually feel that? Love? It wasn't an emotion I was too familiar with, especially not romantically. But something inside of me wanted to love her. And something inside of me hoped that she, too, wanted to love me. I mean, I saw it in her eyes. The way she always looked at me like i'm worth a million bucks. Maybe she just had a natural twinkle in her eyes, but it felt more than that. It couldn't be just a twinkle, it held something way more valuable.

Speaking of twinkle, the man in front of me did not have that in his eyes. All he had is hatred and fury.

"What did I tell you about getting into business with Scarlett?" My father spat at me. "I said no." The restaurant bathroom we were in suddenly felt small. Too small. "You worthless child. You can't even listen to your father! Instead, you go off and sleep with her every night. She's nothing but a whor-"

"Do not call her a whore." I raised my bowed head to look him dead in the die. "Don't you ever say that again."

My father's face contorted into something like a mixture of disgust and shock. It gave me pleasure and satisfaction. But then he brought his face inches away to mine, turning my pleasure into fear. "How dare you yell at me! You know damn well what she is! A whore. A useless, filthy whore. She will do nothing but give you a good night and distract you from tennis and your studies."

"Stop talking about her like that! If anything, you're the dirty, useless, scumbag who yells at me because that's the only satisfaction you get!" I was now furious. I've never talked back to my father. But years of abuse, mentally and physically, had led me to have so much built up anger running through my blood. I had to release it. I had to not be afraid anymore. Not with Scarlett in my life now. 

An ugly laugh escaped my father's lips. "Boy, you think yelling at you is my only source of satisfaction? I thrive when I get my money. The money I work my ass off for. The money that you won't get if you don't start focusing on more important stuff other than dirty girls."

My chest was heaving up and down. A bead of sweat dripped down my forehead from the rage I was feeling. I was reeling. 

"Do you understand me?" 

"No, I don't." This time, my voice was calmer. I wouldn't be able to win this argument at any time, so there was no way I was going to push it.

"I don't want to see you close to Scarlett anymore," The way he said Scarlett did something unnatural to my brain. "You're to not sit on the plane with her, and if I see her in my backyard or house, I will tear you to pieces. Bit by bit." He snarled.

My body flooded with fear. I was used to the empty threats he occasionally made, but this one didn't feel so empty. It felt like a promise to himself.

"Do. You. Understand?" He repeated himself.

I was silent. My brain was silent. No thoughts consumed me. My heart was silent. Was it beating? I took a long breath to make sure. My ears felt blocked. All I could hear were my father's words.

"A useless, filthy whore."

"To pieces."

"Bit by bit."

I wanted to think of them as just words. But with Jose, nothing could ever be just words. He meant what he said. Every single word.

"I understand." I finally got out, although every bone in my body told me not to. 

I was tall, but my father always had a way of looking like a giant in every room. He looked down at me, pride written all over his face.

"Good boy," He pinched my cheeks, squeezing a bit too hard. "Now remember, actions speak louder than words."

And then he left me. He left me with my now loud brain. My loud heart. All the thoughts fogging my vision. My pulse racing as fast as lightning. My breathing feeling sacred.

Scarlett's POV

It scared me half to death when Jose abruptly got up from the dinner table and dragged Erik with him to the bathroom. I tried to speak to Erik with my eyes before he got pulled away. I tried to tell him about the promises he made me. I wanted him to stick up for himself. But he just gave me sad eyes and shook his head. And then walked away with his father. But what made my heart completely stop was the sight of Jose coming back, without Erik.

Different thoughts ran through me. Thoughts of him lying on the bathroom ground, ruined, made me shiver. But another thought was that maybe they were just having a friendly chat. Maybe Erik finally told him off and he apologized. The reason he didn't come back with Jose was because he just had to actually use the bathroom. Or wash his hands. Or blow off some steam.

Those thoughts didn't help me. I didn't want to picture a perfect scene, I needed reality. So I got up. I didn't care if I was going to go into the men's room, I needed to check on him.

"Scarlett!" I actually jumped. I wasn't even halfway out of my seat when Jose yelled at me. A full on head-turning yell. A sound that made me want to back away and crawl into a hole. "Get back here right now." His voice was so stern, so serious. His finger was jabbing the table, and then pointing at me. The table became quiet as Kitty and Dad awaited my next move. If I wasn't in such a state of shock, I would've looked at Dad for help. Why wasn't he doing anything? But I couldn't get myself to look away from Jose. His eyes were locked on mine, his eyebrows stitched so closely together. He looked like the devil. And maybe he was one.

I was locked in his trance, and I couldn't get out. So I sat back down without a word, keeping my stare on Jose. My heart and brain were telling me to run to Erik, but my body wasn't allowing me to. It was forcing me to sit down and continue dinner like nothing had happened.

Erik didn't come back that night.