When the World Sleeps

chapter 4: Beneath the surface

The morning light streaming through the hotel room window highlighted the turmoil brewing inside Niall. Louis's affectionate "Boo" still lingered in his mind, a bittersweet reminder of the facade he maintained. As the lads prepared to leave for their next destination, Niall retreated to his room, his thoughts suffocating him.

He mechanically packed his bag, his mind elsewhere. The journal beckoned, its pages a sanctuary for his inner turmoil. Niall sat on the bed, pen in hand, and began to write:

"March 15th (later)

I'm drowning in this sea of expectations. Every smile, every laugh, every performance feels like a lie. The world sees a carefree Niall, but beneath the surface, I'm dying. The hate comments, the constant scrutiny, it's eating away at me.

Liam's concern is palpable, but I dare not reveal the truth. Zayn's art is his escape; mine is this journal, these secret moments of self-destruction. Louis's 'Boo' is a cruel reminder of my disguise.

I'm trapped in this cycle of pain and shame. The razor's sting is my only solace, my escape from the chaos. But at what cost? The guilt, the fear of discovery, it's consuming me.

As he wrote, Niall's emotions overwhelmed him. He crumpled the paper, tears streaming down his face. The shower beckoned, a temporary reprieve from his anguish. Under the steaming water, Niall's hand trembled as he reached for the razor.

The familiar sting brought a twisted sense of relief. Tears mingled with the water as he cut his upper thigh, careful to avoid visible areas. The blood washed away, leaving him feeling hollow, yet momentarily calm.

Niall wrapped his cut, cleaned the razor, and hid it once more. His secret remained safe, locked away from prying eyes. He dressed, mechanically preparing for the day ahead.

As they arrived at the venue, the familiar rush of adrenaline coursed through Niall's veins. The show must go on, and he would perform with a smile, hiding his pain behind the mask.

Backstage, the lads gathered, exchanging banter and reassurances. Louis slapped Niall's back. "Hey, Boo! Ready to rock?"

Niall forced a grin. "Born ready, Lou."

As they took the stage, the opening chords of "Story of My Life" filled the arena.

"Written in these walls are the stories that I can explain she told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones. Although my heart is broken my hearts untamed still

Niall's voice soared, blending with Harry's, Liam's, Louis's, and Zayn's in perfect harmony.

"Story of my life, I take her home
I drive all night, to keep her warm and safe
Story of my life, and all that's left
Is all the memories we shared"

As they performed, Niall's heart heavy with secrets, he locked eyes with Liam, their connection a fleeting respite from his turmoil.

"I've been through the fire, and I've been through the rain
I've been broken, but I've been rebuilt again"

The song ended, the crowd erupting into applause. Niall's smile faltered for an instant, before he regained his composure, hiding the pain beneath the surface.