Always

XIX. Letting go

2:00 a.m. Seoul

Jimin silently headed towards the room of Yoongi. The guards outside of Yoongi's room already knew he will be coming to see Yoongi. He waited for hours at the parking lot till he got a text that Yoongi's parents already went home to rest. He promised Yoongi's personal bodyguard that he won't make it long. A few minutes would be enough. He called JK and Tae that he was at the hospital. He also called Jin to not worry about him being alone.

Jimin put the basket of oranges and the bouquet of flowers on the table. He stand close to Yoongi. There were tears in his eyes, but he held it back. This was not the Yoongi that he wanted to see. He looked so pale.

"He had been drinking since you left." Jimin got a call from JK, then Tae that Yoongi was rushed to the hospital during their rehearsal. JK explained that Yoongi had to undergo a hepactectomy. Hobi, who was with Jin and Namjoon, also called him.

"Will you come home and see him?" Namjoon asked. Then he heard Jin on the loudspeaker, "Come home, chim." Jin wasn't asking or requesting. It was an order.

"He called your name many times before he passed out."  Jin added. He cried when he heard that from Jin.

Jimin wanted to hold Yoongi's hands, but he knew if he does, it will melt all his resolve. He looked at Yoongi's pale face. He wanted to touch it too. He wanted to tell him to wake up and get up out of the bed but no words came out of his mouth. All his energy were drained just by looking at Yoongi, stuck on the bed.

"You better wake up and get out of that bed soon." Jimin finally spoke as if Yoongi would hear him. "I swear to God, I won't ever ever forgive you if you die." Jimin whispered.

"Please wake up soon, okay?"

Finally, he held Yoongi's pale hand on his and let go of his tears. It pained him knowing that after what happened, after all the hurt and lies, he still loves Yoongi.

"I wish I have all the right to stay next to you and love you like I always do." Jimin sobbed quietly. "But you know, you will always have my heart. Always."

The pain of reality that Yoongi has been gone out of his life for the past three years, that he won't be able to hold him in his arms for the rest of his life, that he won't be able to see Yoongi's smiles and frowns had struck him so hard. Yoongi has a new life now, while he got caught in empty promises of love. And Jimin realized, it's time for him to let go of Yoongi.

"I'll never stop loving you, Min Yoongi." He whispered and kissed Yoongi's cheek. He squeezed his hand for the last time and slowly let go of Yoongi. "I didn't had the chance to let go of us, but I have to finally let you go."

Jimin bowed to the body guards, muttered thank you and headed towards the elevator.

Yoongi felt something touched his hand and a warm lips on his cheek. He also heard a voice. A voice that he has never forgotten. He tried so hard to open his eyes, but all he could see was a black shadow heading towards the door. He moved his lips and barely uttered, "Love."

Jimin was stunned. It was Yoongi's mother coming out of the elevator. He thought she already left. He was so surprised to see her.

"Jiminah."

Jimin bowed his head to her, but Mrs. Min walked fast to him and closed him in a warm embrace, closing their distance.

"I'm glad you came." She said patting Jimin's back. "I am so glad you came for Yoongi, Jiminah." Jimin hugged Mrs. Min. He reassured her that Yoongi will be just fine and hugged her back.

When she asked his son why he loved Jimin, Yoongi answered with so much honesty and sincerity.

Because he loved me like nobody did. He made me feel valued and seen. He made me love myself more than anything.