TMR Imagines and Preferences

Self-Harm Part 2

Thomas- Your dreams came in intervals, each making no sense. First, the memory of arriving the glade played over and over again, but instead of the boys finding you, you got out and found them all slaughtered and piled up in the homestead. Then, you were walking on the top of the maze, and the moonlight was casting a shadow on the ground that Thomas was chasing after. Finally, you were in a large wooden ship on the open sea while a storm was raging, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get a hold of the deck and you were washed overboard.

Instead of drifting out of sleep peacefully, you were shaken awake roughly. Sunlight pierced through your eyelids and stung your eyes, and you could make out a blurry shape above you. It looked like Thomas, but his head was turned towards your arm, which was numb and felt like a heavy block of ice. As soon as the boy above you noticed your open eyes, he hugged you tightly, and began to ask you questions in a panic. You couldn't make anything out, but you could feel a different kind of sleep coming on, a deeper one you would never wake from. 

A part of you wanted to stay with this boy, because he seemed to care about you a lot, but a bigger part was pulling you towards the murkiness, which whispered promises of peace and eternal rest. You were tired, so, so tired, and with every second that went by, your eyelids drooped until all you could see was black. The boy began to yell hysterically, and something wet fell on your face, but the black had turned into a kaleidoscope of colors, and at that point, nothing could keep you from floating up into them. 

Newt- Someone wrapped their arms around you and lifted you from the cold ground you had spent the last six hours on. They walked in a path through the stalks you could barely make out, and then out into the broad, open sunlight. 

Something hot stung your face once, and then over and over again. When you are finally able to pry your eyes open, you see Newt's face above you. He is bawling and the tears keep running off his chin and falling onto your cheek. His arm is wrapped under your waist and the other under your legs, and there are boys all around him. After a minute you are brought inside and laid on a wooden table. Immediately Jeff began to unbutton your shirt, but someone slapped his hand to stop him. 

"Hey! What are you doing man? She's mine! Not you-" Newt growled.  

"Newt, calm down, I can't clean her up if her sleeve is in the way, and it will take longer to cut it off. Now could you help me please?" he asked. Newt nodded and finished unbuttoning your shirt, easing it off and resting you back on the table. Jeff and Clint hovered over you, passing various pieces of cloth and bottles of medication back and forth. Gladers stood at the door trying to look at what was going on, but Newt kept them back because he was extremely overprotective, and was already irritated with anyone but him seeing you without a shirt on. 

What seemed like hours later, you were finally allowed to go back to your hammock and get some rest. Newt hadn't asked for any explanation yet, but you knew he deserved one. He held his arm around your waist and put your good arm on his shoulder. Slowly, you made your way back to the homestead, but you were only about halfway when you saw the black spots dancing, obscuring your vision. Before you could say anything to Newt, you fell to the ground and felt him kneel over you.

"Bloody hell, Y/N, please don't, please. I can't lose you again Y/N, I bloody love you, why did you do this to yourself?" he pleaded while squeezing your hand. The last thing you remembered, he was kissing you, but you had no energy left to return it. 

Minho- In the morning you woke up to find Minho curled up next to you, one arm over your waist. He must have been completely oblivious as to what he said last night to fall asleep with you, and you were in no mood to explain or confront him. Slipping on a pair of pants, you walked to the homestead to grab an early breakfast and start work early, with every intention of avoiding Minho all day. 

Unfortunately, you were not lucky enough to avoid him completely. Minho sauntered into the kitchen along with Alby and Zart, unaware of the rage building up inside of you. After grabbing some food, he sat next to you and placed one hand on your thigh, completely engaged in his conversation with Alby. Your cuts were just beginning to scab, but even his gentle touch ripped them open. You bit down hard on a roll to cover up your screech, and let his hand stay there, too tired to do anything about it. 

As quickly as you could, you finished your breakfast and stood up, blind to the fact that there was a large spot of blood seeping through your pants. You wouldn't have noticed it until much later in the day if Minho hadn't reached with the hand that was on your leg to grab another roll and noticed the blood. He yelled out and looked all over for a cut on himself, while you cringed and tried to make your way out of the kitchen as quietly as possible. When realization set in, Minho stood up to find you slipping out the door. You began to run away, not sure where you were headed. Your leg grew worse and worse, until you were in tears with every step. Minho chased after you, and he was about to catch up when you landed in a dip in the ground and twisted your ankle. On the way down, you hit your head on something hard and immediately your vision was cut off and in your ears all you could hear was ringing. 

Gally- The boy held you tightly and you cried into his shoulder, too weak to even see who it was. He pulled you into his lap and you collapsed even further into his arms. Someone called out and once the boy responded you recognized Alby's voice. Another boy came running towards you shouting your name, but you did not want to see his face. After telling you that you were worth nothing, and that your fears of being raped were stupid, you had no desire to look at him, or anyone else. In your mind, the best solution was simply getting rid of the problem. You. 

Alby pulled you into a standing position and transferred you into Gally's arms. Immediately you tensed up and held in the tears, refusing to let Gally see any deeper inside of you. He brushed hair away from your face and when you opened your eyes, you focused on a tree branch behind his head. Question after question flew at you but you wouldn't answer any of them. Concentrating instead on the sweet feeling of the blood dripping from your arm, it was easy to ignore him. 

Gally still hadn't noticed the slashes on your arm- he was too focused on apologizing and trying to stop your tears to even look down. You wished he had looked down however, when he grabbed your arm forcefully and shook it roughly, trying to get you out of the trance you had put yourself in. The pain overwhelmed you and you fell to the ground screaming. Gally knelt down next to you in shock and yelled for help, but you blacked out from the pain before anyone else had time to reach you. 

*There will be a part three so no worries my loves