TMR Imagines and Preferences

Self-Harm Part 3

Thomas- Far below you, pots crash around in the kitchen waking you, as Frypan makes breakfast. Your hand is tangled deep in Thomas's hair, and he is asleep with his head resting on your stomach, arms wrapped protectively around your waist.

"Tommy?" you shake him awake gently. A first there is no response, but then he jumps up and lets out a slur of questions and odd syllables.

"Y/N, shuck I thought you-, never mind. How are you feeling darling?" he asked, brushing the hair away from your face. You sat up and faced him, playing with the edges of the bandage on your arm. You very well remembered what had happened, and you knew that he deserved an answer.

"I'm ok, Thomas. I need to tell you something, and then I'll feel much better, though."

Thomas peered at you with pity and suspicion. "You don't have to tell me anything, the only thing that matters is that you are safe now and I am never, ever, ever leaving your side again," he reassured.

"No Tommy, please, you deserve to know," you began. "I... I was just so ashamed. I was so embarrassed that you had to come back and save me, and extremely angry at myself because you were safe and because I was clumsy you put yourself in danger again. I hated myself for that- I felt disgusting and vile. I know... I know this wasn't the right solution, but the only thing I could think about was getting rid of the problem. The problem was me. I'm so sorry I ever made you worry, I was just trying to make your life easier." You hung your head and waited for Thomas to attack. The confession hung still between your hearts, and it grew bigger, thicker, and hotter with each second. The heat was almost unbearable, but Thomas broke through with a single cool hand placed on your cheek. The redness stayed plastered on your face, but no matter how hard you resisted, a whisper of comfort surrounded and cooled your heart.  

"You lea-" he choked out, his voice breaking just a few syllables in, "you leaving would make my life hell. You being in my life is the thing that makes it easier to live. You keep telling yourself that you caused me to be in danger, that you are at fault. Well, I'm telling you that you're wrong. No matter what you do, how bad you mess up, or what promises you force me to make, I will always come back for you. No matter how much you try, nothing you do will lessen my love for you. That love is for you and meant for you, but you do not have control over how much there is and when it can be applied. That is up to me, and only me, and I'm telling you right now, I will never leave you behind."

Thomas took a deep breath and a tear leaked from the corner of his eye. Instead of wiping it away, he let it fall slowly down his cheek, leaving a path shining with the light streaming in through the dusty window. "This.. is.. killing  me Y/N, absolutely tearing me down to dust. It is killing me," he cried, taking a hold of your hands and squeezing tight, the first tear followed by a multitude of others. You let go of one of his hands and brought his head to your chest, where you cradled him and kissed the top of his head.

"Never again," you promised, for the first time in your memory, actually meaning it. Thomas nodded and moved to hold on to your waist again, repeating your words.

"Never again."

Newt- A strong breeze blows through the glade, whistling through the fields and swinging your hammock ever so slightly. You wake from a shallow slumber, weighted down by Newt, who is wrapped around your body, head nestled in your neck. You bring your good arm up from your side to his back and rub small circles on his back, letting him get rest before you know you will have to give him an explanation. Sooner than you expected, his head moves and incoherent syllables tumble from his lips. Newt opens his eyes and adjusts his body so that he is straddling you, but his body weight is not crushing you. His eyes are frantic, moving back and forth, unsure as to whether this is a cruel dream, or a real blissful morning with you safe in his arms.