Thank you to Coco_da_cat for judging this category!
Please join us in congratulating the Mystery winners of the Astania Community's Harvest Festival 2024:
FIRST PLACE
with a score of 101.5/110...
Black Avatare by SuVida777
I wasn't sure what the title was for until I read the blurb, but it's a good representation of the book! The blurb was great, and the blurb and cover reflect the mystery theme well!
Chapter 1:
Your writing is very rich and in-depth! Your descriptions allow the reader to get a good sense of the world and characters. The personification of objects adds to the scene well, and you describe the atmosphere incredibly! You have a lot of interesting components and build suspense well! The preparation for the ritual, the build-up, the worldbuilding, it's all well done, and this first chapter is already an incredible read! I didn't notice any grammatical errors in the first chapter. The conversation between Binara and the driver flows naturally and gives the reader a lot of vital information. Great job! Instantly, I can get a good sense of Binara, and you communicate her character well through a mixture of her actions and thoughts. It's interesting how you're showing her profession and compared to others. You can describe this in great detail.
Chapter 2:
Binara's interaction with the Black Prince was well described and you captured her state nicely. This chapter flows nicely, and the transitions between scenes are smooth. You do a great job continuing to fill in the gaps of the story while also writing a captivating tale. I didn't notice any grammatical errors in the second chapter. The dialogue was well reflective of the characters in their current situations. It's written naturally and fits well in the story. Like in the previous chapter, you're doing a great job revealing information through speech! Later in the chapter, you set up Binara and her mother's relationship great through dialogue. I love how you have her sister's character adding to the confusion of the scene! With what we know about the sister right now, it's a small detail, but one that fits nicely! Binara's emotions and anxiety are written realistically, and you continue to set up her character as well as Miss Nayana and her mothers beautifully.
Chapter 3:
Once again, I must compliment your descriptions! They're very in-depth and help tell the story well. You continue to provide details that move the story along, and it's still an interesting read. Nice job! Overall, this story was a nice mystery, and you've established that fact early on. Once again, the dialogue in this chapter continues to move the story along nicely, and you do a great job showing different traits of characters through your dialogue. I also liked the argument between Binara and her mother, you set up the characters well there. Binara's thoughts communicate her emotions well in this chapter. You develop up her character and other characters nicely.
SECOND PLACE
with a score of 96/110...
Canvas of Deception by EclipseNoir123
The title, cover, and blurb are well done!
Prologue:
Your writing is descriptive. The fight scene was well-described. The plot is quite interesting, and the prologue established a nice hook! I like how there's this entire scheme going on, and you gave a good first impression. I noticed a couple of missed commas, but nothing major. The characters didn't converse much, but what Victoria said seemed reflective of her character. You have nice character descriptions.
YOU ARE READING
Harvest Festival | Astania Awards
Random[COMPLETED] Come one, come all to the Astania Community's Harvest Festival! We're in search of some great stories to last us through the chilly winter. No matter how big or small, all are welcome to make this harvest a bountiful one! If you'd like t...
