Infinite Magic (Male Reader x Harry Potter)

Snape in a Dress

Uncle Remus wasn't there when we arrived at his first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson.  We all sat down, took out their books, quills, and parchment, and were talking when he finally entered the room.  He smiled vaguely and placed his tatty old briefcase on the teacher's desk.  He was as shabby as ever but looked healthier than he had on the train, as though he had had a few square meals.

Lupin: Good afternoon.  Would you please put all your books back in your bags?  Today's will be a practical lesson.  You will need only your wands.

A few curious looks were exchanged as the class put away their books.  We had never had a practical Defense Against the Dark Arts before, unless you counted the memorable class last year when that moron had brought a cage full of pixies to class and set them on us.

Lupin: Right then!  If you'd follow me.

Puzzled but interested, the class got to its feet and followed Professor Lupin out of the classroom.  He led us along the deserted corridor and around a corner, where the first thing we saw was Peeves the Poltergeist, who was floating upside down in midair and stuffing the nearest keyhole with chewing gum.  Peeves didn't look up until Professor Lupin was two feet away.  Then he wiggled his feet and broke into song.

Peeves: Loony, loopy Lupin!  Loony, loopy Lupin, loony, loopy Lupin-

Rude and unmanageable as he almost always was, Peeves usually showed some respect toward the teachers.  Everyone looked quickly at my uncle to see how he would take this.  To our surprise, he was still smiling.

Lupin: I'd take that gum out of the keyhole if I were you, Peeves.  Mr Filch won't be able to get in to his brooms.

Filch was the Hogwarts caretaker, a bad tempered, failed wizard who waged a constant war against the students and, indeed, Peeves.  However, Peeves paid no attention to his words, except to blow a loud wet raspberry.  Uncle Remus gave a small sigh and took out his wand.

Lupin: This is a useful little spell.  Please watch closely.

He raised the wand to shoulder height and pointed it at Peeves.

Lupin: Wadiwasi!

With the force of a bullet, the wad of chewing gum shot out of the keyhole and straight down Peeves' left nostril.  He whirled upright and zoomed away, cursing.

Dean: Cool, sir!

Lupin: Thank you, Dean.  Shall we proceed?

We set off again, the class looking at my uncle with increased respect.  He led us down a second corridor and stopped right outside the staffroom door.

Lupin: Inside, please.

The staffroom, a long, paneled room full of old, mismatched chairs, was empty except for one teacher.  Professor Snape was sitting in a low armchair, and he looked around as the class filed in.  His eyes were glittering and there was a nasty sneer playing around his mouth.  Professor Lupin came in and made to close the door behind him.

Snape: Leave it open, Lupin.  I'd rather not witness this.

He got to his feet and strode past the class, his black robes billowing behind him.  At the doorway he turned on his heel and faced Uncle Remus.

Snape: Possibly no one's warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom.  I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult.  Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear.

Neville went scarlet, while Harry, Ron, Ava, and I glared at Snape.  Earlier in the day, Hermione had helped Neville in Potions, and Snape had taken five points from Gryffindor for doing so.  It was bad enough that he bullied Neville in his own classes, let alone doing it in front of other teachers.  Professor Lupin had raised his eyebrows.