The Muse

Part 11

The world didn't exist. Nothing existed except the empty canvas infront of Marcella and music that busted through the room. She had been in the studio all morning but she couldn't paint anything that she liked. The painting she made often reflected the emotion she felt at that moment but nothing she created felt like her right now.

A frustrated sigh went through her and she was back to painting the tiny intricate circles that helped her calm down. Marcella didn't want to calm down she wanted to rage and throw things in the air, she wanted to feel the anger that she managed to keep at bay all week.

She picked up the colour she had avoided this whole time. She began to make slashes on the canvas while she thought of Yuri, her mom and every other thing that hurt her. Images of that night of the party with Yuri flooded her mind and she made angrier slashes of paint on the canvas.

He didn't deserve a smile from her, he didn't deserve to not feel her hate and she hated herself for not being able to hate him. He kidnapped her and lied to her then allowed that Robert man threaten her friends. Why shouldn't she hate him?

She thought to herself how much of a fool she would have to be to catch feelings for him. He made her mad all the time but he was so gentle. He had bought her painting, why had he even bothered? The canvas was covered in black now and she trying to catch her breath. She left her studio scared that she might paint her entire studio black.

The walk to Amari's house felt different now. It was like she was living in a different reality where her eyes were more open and alert. She put in the pass code to his gate and knocks on the door.

"oh! Marcy, how are you dear?" Amari's mother, Jacky enveloped her into a hug. She had the same tan skin and dark curly hair as her son. They even had the same dimpled-smile but the smile on her made her uncomfortable now.

"hello Mrs Jacky, I'm fine. Is Amari at home?" Marcy smiled as she was released out of the hug.

"He's in his room fussing over school work" she gave Marcy a pat on her arm before walk out to the lawn. Marcy was pretty sure Mrs Jacky was going to her garden that she had Amari's dad to build for her last summer.

The door to his room was closed. The knock on the door was hesitant like she wasn't sure she wanted to go inside. She hadn't been herself around her friends lately and she wasn't sure if they noticed but if they did, she couldn't provide the answers they would want.

"Rise and shine" Marcella burst into his room all smiley like she hadn't been on the verge of breaking her studio some minutes ago.

He was laying down on his water bed that just got this year. Amari's room was very basic with white walls, white bed covers and black furniture. He wasn't really one for the flashy designs or colours.

"What do you want?" He was acting grumpy with her. Amari was probably still upset about her losing contact with last weekend.

"I already said I was sorry Amari" she pouted as she watched him lay still on his bed, a phone in his hand.

"I was scared to death and I kept beating myself up for letting you leave with that guy" he was standing now and looking at her with anger.

"I am alive and nothing is wrong with me" she said calmly. She didn't want this unnecessary fight to escalate.

"You don't get it. You can just leave a party with a guy you don't know" she wanted to agree with him and tell him exactly what happened but she couldn't.

"Yuri isn't just a random guy" there was a bit of truth in what she had just said

"Yes I gathered when Riley told me you guys went on a date" Amari was looking at her for confirmation and she just sighed.

"I'm sorry" her eyes were on the floor.

"No I know I'm acting like a major jerk right now but I was scared" Amari wrapped her into a hug. They stayed there for a long moment before he released her.

"Now tell me about this lucky guy" Amari smiled, laying down on his bean bag chair. She hated this question, it was starting to seem like her whole life revolved around Yuri and it was suffocating her.

"All you need to know is that he is amazing, kind and sweet" she wished the words that she said weren't true because if they were, she wouldn't be able to continue lying to herself.

"Never expected you to find love before me. shocker" Amari burst out laughing.

"Before you? Amari don't need to lie to yourself" she rolled her eyes at him and sat down cross legged on his bed. Not being with Riley was one thing but pretending to not be in love with her was another.

"Things are never going to work out between us and you know that" he sighed

"You keep saying that but I have never heard a real reason. It sounds like you're just scared of your feelings for her"

"No I don't see the point of ruining the perfect friendship we all have for a relationship that might not last" Amari said distantly.

"Chicken!"Marcella screamed at him as threw a pillow at him.

"Let's see who's the chicken" Amari threw a pillow at her back before she even had a chance to react.

They were having a pillow fight for the first time in ages. The last time they all had a pillow fight was in 8th grade and they were in Riley's house on her birthday. Sometimes she missed being a child and playing around like this.

"I'm really glad you're my best friend Marcy" Amari sighed on the floor exhausted from all the jumping.

"Me too" she smiled.