ANOTHER LONELY DECEMBER, Riley Johnson

White Elephant

🎧: Unsteady - X Ambassadors

I woke up feeling sore and exhausted. The lack of sleep would catch up to me during tonight's gathering, I knew that, but I didn't care. As cheesy as I sounded, I had just spent the best night of my life. I had felt things I'd lost hope I would ever feel. Riley's head rested on my chest; she looked so peaceful. As I looked at her a detail from last night popped in my brain, Abby tried to call. I reach for my phone, careful not to wake up Riley, and turned the device back on. A bunch of missed calls and texts.

Amelia, please answer

Lia it's urgent please

I need you, please answer

A knot formed in the back of my throat at the idea that she might have needed me and I wasn't there. I'd let her down. I couldn't proceed to name all the time I'd sacrifice an opportunity or postponed a project because Abby needed me. She'd do the same for me, most of the time... Siblings are some sort of toxic lover, you'd give them your lungs if they needed it but you'd never let them near that drawer full of sweet you hide in your bedroom. Last night I chose to put myself first, for once, and I was slowly starting to regret it. John, Abby's best friend, had tried calling me as well which made me feel even worse about the whole situation. I carefully rolled out of bed and silently walked over to the bathroom, grabbing a shirt on my way. I called and waited for her to pick up.

"Hey Lia, I'm sorry about last night I just panicked" she apologized as soon as she picked up, allowing me to release a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"What happened?" I asked still worried about why she'd freak out like this; it wasn't like her to do so.

"When I met Harper last night she was drunk. She was barely acknowledging me so I left and she didn't come home until 2 in the morning. When I went to check on her this morning she was acting like someone I barely recognized. She called me suffocating" Abby explain, I could tell from the sound of her voice that she'd been crying.

"Wait, she called you suffocating? She called you suffocating?" I tried to remain calm but I could feel my blood boiling through my veins. Abby had been nothing but compliant, she let Harper lock her back into to closest but somehow that wasn't enough.

"I was just making sure she was okay and she... I don't know. I don't know how I'm going to endure two more days of this" she sighed. "Do you know how much it would cost for a ride home? 1000$" she sounded desperate.

"Is that what you really want? To go home?" I asked hoping she would say no. I didn't want to leave yet as selfish as it was.

"No, I can take the two more days. Plus, we'll be together most of the time so it'll be okay" she definitely sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

"Alright then, I'll go see if Riley's shopping offer still stands, okay?" I offered and she agreed before hanging up. When walked out of the bathroom Riley was awake, she'd put her shirt and underwear back on and was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, is everything alright?" she asked sounding genuinely worried. I walked up to her and sat straddling her lap.

"Harper fucked up again" I proceeded to tell her what my sister had just told me. She didn't even seem surprised.

"That's not the only thing that's bothering you, is it?" she knew there was something I wasn't telling her.

"I just- I feel bad because when she tried to call, when she needed me, I was too busy having mind-blowing sex with you" I confessed.

"You do realize that you are allowed to not always be there for her? Plus, you called her back as soon as you woke up and she didn't seem upset" she tried to understand but I knew she couldn't completely, we had very different families with very different dynamics. But appreciated the fact that she tried. "So, mind-blowing sex, uh?" she mocked me before closing the gap between our lips.