ANOTHER LONELY DECEMBER, Riley Johnson

Full Moon

🎧: Stressed out - Twenty One Pilots

I woke up to a rather annoying noise coming from my phone, my alarm. I've been hating this moment lately, getting up, starting a new day. I opened the window, allowing the fresh morning air to take over the room, replacing the musty smell. With a large sweater and I fresh pair of leggings, I made my way downstairs to my kitchen. I wasn't particularly hungry; I had never really been but it had gotten slightly worse over the last couple months.

I opened the fridge, grabbing the leftover pancake batter and went to turn on the stoves. Since Christmas, I'd move from my former apartment to this two levels one. I was mainly worked from home it was more comfortable to have separated areas. There, I had a large office which was originally built as a guest room. It allowed me to draw a thick line between my professional and private lives. Before that, I used to work on my manuscript in my bed. No need to explain how poorly that affected my mental health and productivity.

Another alarm went off, I could tell from the sound that this one wasn't meant to wake me up. March 19th: FM A&H. I had completely forgotten about that. Abby and Harper were supposed to take me with them on their little getaway weekend. We were going to the countryside to observe the full moon. I wasn't particularly excited about it when we planned the trip. When the alarm went off, the feeling was still the same. I knew the only reason why Abby insisted on bringing me with them was because she was worried about me. She could tell something was off. She was right. I hadn't exactly been myself since Christmas. I tried not to make a big deal out of it, but I'd never heard anything from Riley.

I guess I never really expected an answer to that letter but I don't... Some part of me wished she would have just said something, anything. Even if it would have been to reject me, I would have handled that a lot better than this weird silence treatment. Not that she owed me anything, the whole point of the letter was that we could do whatever she wanted with it. I guess I just didn't picture her as the type of person who moves on without an explanation.

For what felt like the hundredth time today, my phone rang. Abby.

"Hey, there. You're already up?" I answered surprised. I have known Abby my entire life and she never really was a morning person. I have these vivid memories of my mom physically dragging her out of bed so we wouldn't be late to school.

"Don't sound so surprised, I have a lot to pack" she almost seemed annoyed.

"Abby, we're only leaving for one night. How much could you possibly have to pack?" I playfully mocked her. I hadn't even decided which bag I was going to use.

"I like to pack just in case, you never know what might happen" she got that from my dad. He would always pack too much, too much clothes, too much food, too much medicine, just in case he would repeat as my mom scolded him.

"I'm happy to know that if a zombie apocalypse strikes, we will survive" I chuckled hearing a loud sigh on the other side of the phone.

"We will be there to pick you up at five, be ready" she demanded before hanging up. I had the whole day ahead of me. I started by packing my bag, just the bare minimum. Warm pyjamas, fresh clothes, fresh underwear, cleaning supplies. What normal human being needed more than that to survive two days away from home? Once I was done neatly folding and placing the items in my bag, I threw it near the door knowing I couldn't possibly forget it if it was in my way.

The idea of a shower appealed to me for a short second. I used to love showers, long, hot showers. But now they were just the perfect place to overthink everything I could have done differently about those five days. I was wondering when the feeling would face, when I'd finally go to sleep and think about anything other than her deep chocolate eyes. I stood under the burning water that number my skin for a short moment. The warmth reminded me of her. Everything quite frankly reminded me of her. I hadn't eaten scrambled eggs and bacon in three months because every time I'd cook it, it would bring me back to that small hidden restaurant.