ANOTHER LONELY DECEMBER, Riley Johnson

Bittersweet Holiday

🎧: Have yourself a merry little Christmas - Phoebe Bridgers

I woke up to a ray of sunlight brushing against my cheek. John wasn't next to me anymore so I assumed he was already upstairs. We shared the guest room last night as Abby stayed in Harper's room. I slowly got out of bed, putting on an ugly Christmas sweater and some joggers. As expected, everybody else in the house was already upstairs, sitting in the living room. Jane was telling John about her book. I really appreciated her but there was no way I could sit and listen to all these information this early in the morning.

"Hey" Harper smiled at me as she appeared from the kitchen.

"Hi" I spoke still not fully awake. "Hey, Harper" I made her stop once she'd reached my level. "About last night, I shouldn't have emptied my drink on you, I'm sorry" I forced myself to apologise.

"No, you're not" she chuckled knowing I didn't regret it at all. "I don't know how to thank you; I really owe you one" she smiled softly.

"Don't screw up this time and we'll be even" I gently nudged her shoulder before making my way over to the couch where Abby was sitting.

"Slept well?" she asked as I let myself fall in the empty spot next to her.

"Yeah" I lied. I had barely slept. I spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, thinking about her. I didn't want to just go home and act like these four days never happened. If this was how what we shared had to end, I wanted to give it a proper closure. I needed to say what was on my mind, and I needed her to know how thankful I was that we shared those moments. Maybe she didn't feel the need to know but I felt the need to share. A letter, I should write her a letter, I thought to myself.

"Everyone" Sloane cleared her throat, catching our attention. "Go ahead kids" she gently pushed the twins in front of her.

"We put the necklace in Abby's bag. And we took grandma's brooch. We're sorry" they admitted and apologised, handing their grandmother the small object she'd been looking for the day before.

"Thank you" Abby felt relieved that the truth was out although I'm convinced everyone already knew she wasn't capable of stealing. She was a really lousy liar.

"Can we open our gifts now?" the kids demanded, excitement filling their voices. Sloane nodded, allowing them to torn apart the neatly wrapped paper. As they did so, Ted finally joined us. To be honest, I hadn't even noticed his wasn't there, my mind was... elsewhere.

"I've put nearly all of our saving into this campaign because I thought if I won you would all be proud of me" he confessed looking at his wife and daughters.

"We're already proud of you" Harper reassured him, shooting a small yet heartfelt smile.

"Yeah, we don't care if you win" Sloane added. She always gave off this fake vibe but this time she seemed honest.

"And the money doesn't matter, when I'll sell my book I'll take care of all of us" Jane said, a wave of hope colouring her joyful features.

"I love you girls" he sighed. "And I'm sorry for ever making you feel like you had to earn that, you are my greatest achievement. I want to do better; I know it will take time but I want the three of you to find the exact same happiness you've been given me; I don't care where it comes from" he spoke from his heart which didn't seem to occur very often as his three daughters walked up to him and wrapped their arms around him. The whole scene made me quite emotional; I just wished I still had that. Our parents weren't perfect either but they loved us and they always made sure that we knew it.

I cuddled up to Abby as we observed their sweet family moment. Once they stepped back from their embrace, we started exchanging gifts. The living room slowly filled with shreds of wrapping papers, laughter echoing through the walls. Small conversations, more laughter, kids squealing at the sight of their brand-new toys, but I wasn't really there. I couldn't get her out of my mind.