Bound by grace

11|Prayer

Delilah POV
I have been praying so much lately, asking God to give me clarity and guidance on my feelings towards my best friend, Lucas.

I was in fear for the past few weeks.

Fear of the unknown. 

What if it ruined our friendship?

This isn't right; it doesn't. I mean, we practically are like siblings; we grew up together, did everything together, and now I'm having mixed feelings for him?

This is so confusing, and so is he. Does he even like me that way? Absolutely not.

Who can even like me that way?

I sat down as I devoured my sandwich, frustrated at myself for all those silly thoughts that had come to my mind.

"Don't let the devil take over." James placed a smoothie in front of me as he took a seat.

"What's going on with you lately?" He asked as he folded his arms to his chest and watched me curiously.

James was that kind of friend who knew everything without needing to tell him a single word.

It was an advantage for those who don't like to open their mouths, but it was also a disadvantage for those who don't want people to be involved in their business.

Clearly it was an advantage for me. I couldn't bring myself to even speak about this whole situation that is quite new to me.

It was driving me nuts, and that was the last thing I wanted.

"It's nothing. Nothing big." I mumble, taking a sip of my drink. James took my sandwich and started to eat it.

"Hey!" I said angrily to him. I groaned, hitting my head on the table.

"Spill out." He said softly. "Fine."
-
"So you are like this because you are confused about your mixed feelings?" James laughs out loud.

After the whole information I gave James about it, he decided to look at me as if it was supposed to be funny.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's not funny." I said, "Have you even prayed about it?" Why don't you just not think too much of it and let God take control of it?"

"I did," I said. "Then don't think about it. Trust in God's plan." He leaned back in his chair.

"It's difficult to do so. I mean, he's too busy making me feel nervous when he does stuff like that."

"Have you talked to him about it?" James took a sip of his coffee. "No." I said, shaking my head.

Talking to James about this was embarrassing, and talking to him about it would be more embarrassing. I don't want him to find out either way; it's not like he'll magically kiss me and say, "I like you too."

He probably does.

Oh, shut your brain. My mind has become my enemy for this, and I assume that in the next few days I will be going insane.

"Don't blame him when you are confused about it."

I wasn't planning to blame him; it wasn't his fault that his so-called friend of years had started to like him.

Especially since he dates blondes, strictly blondes. His first date was a blondie, and throughout his dating history it was just blondes.

Don't get me wrong, blondes are pretty but I was referring to the fact that blondes are his type and clearly I was just his 'sister.'

"Yeah, right." I whispered as I notice Dylan walking towards the table i am sat in.

"Hey, Dylan." I waved at him, smiling as he approached us. "I was just passing by and noticed you here."

"James, my name is James." He introduced himself to Dylan with a polite smile on his face.

Dylan and James started chatting about their perspectives on crime.

While I was sipping my drink looking around the cafeteria, I caught Lucas talking on the phone alone.

Why was he here? Oh, right, he has class around this time.

I excuse myself to the boys, walking my way to Lucas.

What are you doing? He clearly doesn't like you that way.

I clearly didn't know what I was doing, but my body knew exactly what I was doing, and I couldn't stop.

I should go by now.

Maybe he needs help with something.

With what? Clearly you just want him.

Yep, my brain is against me now.

I tapped his shoulders.

He turned around, raising his left eyebrow. "Surprise!" I chuckled. "I thought you left already." He chuckled, smiling down at me with his emerald eyes.

"I decided to stay here for a little while." He nodded his head.

"Want me to drop you home?" He asked, and I glanced at him, "You have class; James is going to drop me off after he talks to my new friend."

"New friend?" He asked and raised his eyebrow at me. "Dylan. He's so kind. Unfortunately he's unsaved; we should invite him to church." I said, pointing my finger towards the table he was sitting at.

"I'm amazed. We should definitely do it." Lucas smiled down at me and walked up to the others.

It's been thirty minutes, and the boys were all in a conversation while I'm here waiting for my friend James to drop me home.

I didn't want to interrupt because it wouldn't be nice to do so, but I needed to go home.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you guys, but James, I want to go home." I said sadly. "Delilah. It's okay. You didn't have to apologize," James chuckled at me softly.

"I will drop her off." I looked at Lucas as if he was insane. "I have class in an hour, and it only takes about thirty minutes to drop you off and come back." He reassured me.

I nodded at him.
-
"Thank you." I said to Lucas, who was smiling down at me as I stepped out of the car.

"Welcome, Fitz." I cringed at the name, and he laughed at me, and I was stunned by his laughter.

"What? Are you going to watch me like a statue? He stopped laughing which I came to my senses and smiled awkwardly at him.

"You need to leave, Lucas." I said, wanting him to leave as soon as possible because he was making me feel nervous.

"Right." He replied with a small smile, and he turned on the car and left.

I sighed, "What am I feeling?" I asked myself, but it was a rhetorical question that I couldn't answer myself.

"Hey, Auntie!" Ava came running up to me and hugged me around my knees.

"Hey." I smiled down at her. Her eyes are so adorable. Cutest baby I have ever seen before. I lifted her up and placed her on my hip.

She kept smiling at me with her dimples showing on both sides of her cheeks. "You came early today." Olivia cheerfully embraced me with a hug.

"My classes were done early." I said while my attention was on Ava giggling at me for playing peekaboo.

Adorable little Smurf.
-
I apologize for the short chapter.

Any comments?

Jesus loves you. ❤️