Find me, Detective

Prologue

They say Pawns are the weakest one that's why they always have the first move to signal their opponent that they aren't afraid to die for someone. On the other hand, Queens are the bravest ones. Sacrificing her life for the sake of the King life isn't a joke, not hesitating to run toward all the enemy to fight with them if someone tries to touch their King is not an easy job to do.But why are they eager to protect the King when what he just did is to walk in the midst of chaos?

Ah, right. He is a King. Who started everything.

Thousands of sweat in exchange to have everything? yeah, that's life.

I remember, someone said 'Surviving is our role to help everyone.' fuck that quote. What if let's make it 'Helping is the root to die'? much better.

I scoffed while silently watching people laughing with their friends. They are so happy.

What does it feel like?

I shook my head to erase what I'm thinking.

I leaned my body and closed my eyes to let the wind hug me. This day is tiring. I want to rest for a while. While thinking of what I should do later,  I heard a loud laugh not far away from me.

Do people here don't know public manners? They laugh like there's no tomorrow. It's irritating. I looked in their direction and was about to shout at them when a woman caught my eyes who's just beside that loud ladies.

She's pretty.

I glued my sight to her waiting for her to notice me. But this woman has no sense at all. Instead of rolling my eyes at her, I released a small chuckle. Her shirt is wet, it's covered with orange juice. Cute.

I look at the two women beside her who are not stopping laughing. I shook my head. No wonder why she's fuming in anger. I stood up and took off my leather jacket, I halted from going to them when they started to walk away.

I guess she doesn't need it.

I stopped wearing my leather jacket when I realized what I was about to do. I hate someone wearing my clothes. What was that? I sighed and started to go home. 

As I walked away, the laughter of the two women stuck in my head, blending with the distant sounds of the busy city. I didn't care much for what they were up to; life seemed made of these little moments, didn’t it? Happiness, laughter, and sometimes not thinking of others at all. Like chess pieces on a board, moving with intention, but often giving themselves up for quick bursts of fun.

I felt the weight of the leather jacket in my hands, reminding me of who I was—and who I was trying to be every time I let someone affect my mood. The woman with the stained shirt didn’t seem to care about anything else; she was too busy enjoying herself with her friends. I almost envied her ability to forget the worries that hung over all of us, as if they were just shadows trailing behind her

By the time I reached my door house, the thoughts of that laughter lingered in my mind, annoyingly persistent. What did happiness even feel like? why they laughed like that? are they really happy or are they just hiding all the problems that they have by laughing at loud? I tossed the jacket onto my bed and slumped down next to it. Pulling my knees close to my chest, I stared out of my window at the city that never seemed to tire. Why are people always busy.

The sun is slowly going back where it should be, casting long shadows against the pavement. Life continued in its persistent way, oblivious to the thoughts swirling in my mind. I knew I should have just brushed it all aside, walk past those women and their laughter. But something about the woman with the stained shirt unsettled me. It wasn’t just her vulnerability. It was how her anger and shame were so palpable amidst the joy of her friends or maybe I was projecting my own weariness onto her? Perhaps I saw a reflection of a battle I had waged in my own life—a constant struggle between fitting into a world where helping others while feeling utterly alone was the norm. After all, the sacrifices we made didn’t always earn us the acknowledgment we desired, nor did they guarantee our own well-being.

I let out a long breath, the kind that felt like releasing burdens I hadn’t even realized I was carrying because I kept myself busy. The sun was nearly gone now, inviting the cool touch of evening. With a renewed sense of determination, I stood, wearing my leather jacket again to go down in town.

As I stepped outside, the noise of the world wrapped around me, louder than before, but this time, I welcomed it. It was all part of the game, wasn’t it? And perhaps, just perhaps, I could learn to find joy in the midst of the chaos.

"Life is a rollercoaster."

Those last words came out in my mouth before I left in my apartment.