Reditus || Azriel x OC

Azriel

Spymaster

It had been so long since Azriel had felt like himself. He'd fought and lived through two wars, survived being locked in Velaris for fifty years unable to help save his brother, and he had survived losing his mate. He was exhausted. Deep down a part of him hoped that she would come marching in the door of his apartment and claiming she was fine this whole time and she'd tell him she loved him and that would be his happily ever after.

He felt the bond snap so long ago and now when he reached for it nothing but pain called back. He still searched for her. He didn't think he could ever stop. He wouldn't. Elodie was everything to him. The anniversary of her death was harder each year regardless of how much time passed. He would go to the spot he told her how deeply in love with her he was and get piss drunk.

Azriel was sure Elodie would laugh in his face if she could see him now.

Tonight was no different. He sat in the corner at Rita's watching his friends dance with their mates and could feel how happy they were. Cutting things off with Gwyn had only rubbed salt in his ever present wounds. He tried really hard to have a relationship with her but Gwyn just wasnt Elodie. She understood, but Azriel still felt no better than the males that the library protected her from.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Mor smiled as she sat next to the shadowsinger. The blonde looked breathtaking as usual in a deep cut red dress and her hair flowing in curls around her back. "Not much tonight, just her." Mor placed a hand over Azriels scarred one and squeezed before releasing him. "She would want you to be happy, you know. " Azriel simply brought his glass to his lips and finished his whiskey in one large gulp.

"I am as happy as I can be without her, Mor. No use in trying to pretend." Mor sighed and attempted to keep the shadowsinger in his seat. "Az come on talk to me!" He just strode from the table and threw a quick "have a good night," over his shoulder before letting the shadows whisk him away to the apartment he'd once shared with his mate.

Sometimes, he could still see her standing on the balcony or sleeping in his bed. It was only a dream. He eyed the bed that he refused to sleep in and instead chose the large couch, curling up under a blanket that vaguely carried a scent of lavender and honey. Even if Elodie was here she wouldn't want him like this. He was nothing but a spymaster, after all.