Afraid

Paige

I woke up and got 2 messages. One from my dad and one from my doctor. The message I got from my dad is:

Dad: Paige, get the fuck right here to my house and help your god damn mother. She is having a fucking heart attack. Aren't you supposed to talk back to us at some point or something?

The other text I got was from my oncology doctor who said:

Dr Fabian: It turns out you really do have cancer. I think I missed something in your scan because you seem to have a tumour in your lungs, and it is cancer. We need to have an urgent appointment so can you come today.... Lung cancer is a very severe cancer to have....

Wow.... Is my only reaction to this. And deep sadness. I was so shocked at all of this when I read this. I can't believe I have cancer in my lungs. That is a very bad cancer to have...

And I do not understand why my mum would be having a heart attack.

I kind of chuckled suddenly which is not something I should do but hey, maybe I am crazy?

I then started laughing for 5 minutes repetitively until I finally collected myself and went back into "sanity." But no, also.... when you have cancer, you can't be sane with an illness like this.

And my mum complains soooo much about her health that I know she did not have a heart attack. She's complained about having a heart attack in the past and she ends up never having one.

I simply just spent the rest of my day ignoring these messages and binge ate some chips while watching random rubbish I do not care about on Netflix.