Letting go. || Shawn Mendes

F o u r

November 21, 2014

• Shawn's Pov •

I had barely any sleep and had woken up about 5 times before my alarm clock.

I'm not sure why,but She was on my mind the entire night.

I had the most vivid dream of her.

We were at school together and the bell had just rung. I was late for class about 2 minutes and as I was walking towards the stair case I saw her. She was there. Standing at the ledge. Her pale white hands gripping the railing. Her face. She wasn't crying. She wasn't smiling. Her eyes were closed and as soon as she opened them she looked at me. Her eyes weren't the same electric blue eyes as they usually where. They were an icy blue. It was as if once her soul had died... So did her eyes. But there was still color in them so I knew she wasn't fully gone. I put my hands I front of me as if to say "stay still". She nodded. I took one step and so did she. Then I woke up.

I sent a quick text to her before I got up to get ready.

To: Ma Main Girl
Get up before you're late to school. Oh and good morning :)

I chuckled a bit at my attempt to be funny. She'll probably get mad if I did wake her. Mainly because she usually wakes up 30 minutes before school starts and I wake up about an hour and a half early.

• Her Pov •

I wake up to a vibration echoing through my nightstand and groggily grab my phone.

I see a blurry green square icon on my lockscreen and swipe left.

From: Da Homeboy
Wake up before you're late to school. Oh and good morning :)

I quickly type a reply.

To: Da Homeboy
FUUUU IM ASLEEP.

Satisfied with my reply I lock my phone and go back to sleep. Or.. At least try.

I'm scared honestly. If I go to school will He try to bring it up? He went a week without barely making eye contact with me. I wouldn't blame him. I wouldn't want to look into my eyes either.

I mean... What would you choose? Look into a lifeless girl's eyes and mentally get lost. Or keep living your happy life? You choose, but it's obvious.

5 minutes that I try to sleep and I can't seem to find the strength to close my eyes... I thought it was so easy.

I dread high school. I dread Mondays. I dread Seeing Him.

I roll out of bed and end up hitting the floor because I didn't know how much rolling space I had left. The coldness of the flooring gave me chills and it felt relaxing to just lay still and not worry.

"GET UP! C'MON" " NOW."

" WHY DO I NEED TO?!" "GOD DAMMIT SHAWN."

I feel a pair of large, strong, ironically soft hands grab onto my wrists and pull me up. I was determined to win. I pulled all my weight down and we ended up in the same position we were a week ago.

I look at his eyes, but his were on my lips. His eyes start to move up towards mine and I shut them tightly. Refusing to let him in.
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A/N: Well this was a late update. But I'm trying to keep these chapters short so you don't have to read like 2000 words. Ya Feel? 😅 Comment names... I have some in mind but I want to see if there's better ones out
there.