regret?

Drinking Competition

"I DO NEED TO WEAR BLACK, OKAY? YOU ALL SHOULD AS WELL!" Brian's yells all the way from his room. I swear the cops are going to arrive soon. I was eating my cereal minding my own business and then comes Brian complaining about me wearing joggers to visit my mum. Now my brothers are all changing into all black, with nice dress shirts and clean pants. Honestly doesn't matter what you wear, mum won't mind. After 10 minutes they all showed up ready to go, well everyone except Tyler who was at work.

"Are you sure your ready?" I ask for the third time annoyed by their actions. Andy gently pushes me in the direction of the door. I always kept silent around family, I do feel comfortable but I can't get myself to say the right things. Most the time at reunions or family meetings, I sit to myself or with a cousin. I love family don't get me wrong, it's all I got, but I just seem to enjoy their company more than actually talking to them.

My brothers and Brian talked to mum for the most part, I would sometimes put in a comment here and there. Mum would be proud seeing us all going for our goals, and still staying close with one and another.

This is a happy moment yet I still felt my heart clench ever so slightly knowing we can't go home and have a cup of tea with her. I can't hear her laugh. I can't see her smile. And I defiantly can't have her soul warming hugs.

"Mates I gotta go to work in an hour so I'll make us lunch before heading off, Winter is that fine with you?" I hear Brian ask, I simply nod. I still had to think of an idea for Mr.Quartz. I was going to do a fading painting, but a picture could not form in my head. I had so many choices of what I could paint from my life.
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Tyler was watching tv with me while my brothers were out sight seeing. They act like they weren't grown up here. But the real problem was the amount of awkward tension in the room. Every now and then I would sneak a glance at Tyler but his face remained facing the TV where a fast furious movie was playing, I had lost all my concentration for the movie at this point.

"What's your last name?" I blurt out like the dumb bitch I am. It doesn't sound stupid but once your actually in the situation it's probably 50 times worse. I watch his face turn confused.

"Armanini, it's Italian." He answers politely. So he's a drinker. That's nice, I always liked competition. "Look I'm sorry if this comes off fucked up, but uhh I heard Brian talking a lot about you and it's sounds like he's saying you've been in prison or part of some mafia. And I'd really liked to know if I'm living with a mafia member." He rambles off licking his pink lips after he's done. I'm such a shameless little shit. I breath out a little laugh before answering him.

"Yeah, I went to prison and left 5 months early for good behavior." It's not hard to answer these kinda questions. Yes, of course when you ask personal questions of my loved ones I'll feel my heart clench or my eyes fire up in anger.

The silence was starting to bring back the tension.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to get used to the idea. Well I went to prison once, it was a bachelor party gone wrong." He chuckles lightening the mood. I felt myself laugh thinking of the worst.

"May I ask what happened?" I ask in between the giggles. He looks up and smirks shaking his head.

"Like hell, that was the only time iv gotten blackout drunk." Damn, iv got some real competition then. We talked for hours eventfully falling asleep on the couch. I can't say I got close to him, we only touched out to the basic topics and conversations. But I will say Tyler could make a really nice friend.
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I know I haven't posted in a long time, I'm sorry? With school before and now new jobs it's kinda hard. Plus I still gotta study even if it's summer smh😒.
But I'll try my best to updated.
Thanks and love ya.