From Aliya to Hafiz

Forty-seven.

Aliya.

Hafiz hasn't been home for four days now.

I couldn't reach his phone and he wasn't answering my messages either. It would be a lie to say that I wasn't worried, he always came back odd whenever he went to see those two women.

I had just gotten back from my shift in the hospital and I waved at David who dropped me off before entering the house. When I slid the door to the foyer open, I saw the object of my worry about to open the door as well.

"Hafiz," I called, surprised. "Are you—"

"Don't touch me!" He snapped, taking several steps back. "Stay away from me!"

I froze, trying to get something out of his expression but I only saw the clear warning in them. "What's wrong with you?" I closed the gap he created between us. "Are you—"

"Goddamn it don't come close to me!" He took a step back, clutching his head. "What are you doing here!?"

I frowned, a feeling of anger and frustration coming over me. What was wrong with this man? Why does he keep acting hot and cold with me? Here I was worried sick about him and yet he was telling me to stay away from him?

Fine, enough was enough.

I had resolved to just let him be anyway, he was on speaking terms with his parents and hopefully, they would slowly influence him. I'd pray for him as well. But I didn't have to be here going through this emotional rollercoaster all the time.

I brushed past him to climb up the stairs but he held my hand. "Let go of me," I snapped.

"Please..." he gasped and I looked back to see him gripping his head, his eyes torn between anger and frustration. "Stay away from me...don't leave me...I'm going to strangle you...please stay...!"

I felt a wave of anger crash into me. "Do you even hear yourself!? Why are you doing this to me!? Are you crazy!?"
I threw his hand off.

He shook his head, then nodded. "There's something w-wrong with m-me and I—"

I held a hand to stop him. "Have you been ignoring my calls and messages?"

He doesn't reply.

"Where have you been?"

"None of your fucking bu—" he cuts himself up by tugging wildly at his hair. "Shut up!"

I nodded, a cold feeling taking over my chest. "Okay, it's my fault for worrying about you!"

"Aliya I didn't—"

I ran up the stairs, not wanting to hear a word out of his mouth. It was ridiculous how much my heart was hurting, and it was even more ridiculous when I felt the tears pricking my eyes. I fell on my bed and buried my head under my pillow.

Where had he been? He always lost it whenever he went to see those two women, what if he was frolicking around clubs and sex parties? I wouldn't put it past him. And to think he had a child coming. Did they convince him to marry Bailey? That was also good, it would spare me the fault of demanding a divorce.

Because I didn't want to put up with this anymore. I couldn't keep living like this, thinking the worst of him and scared he would come back unlike himself whenever he left. Why should I keep living like this?

I angrily stood up to get my phone out of my bag and dialled Auntie's number. I paced the length of my bed as I waited for her to pick up.

"I want to come home," I said the moment the call connected.

"Aliya what's—"

"I want to come home!" I yelled into the receiver. "I'm not staying here anymore! You're on speaking terms with your son so I did well to an extent right!? Then please finish fixing him! I can't anymore!"