Chapter Seventy-Nine

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CHRISTIAN
KINGSTON

I fucked up. I fucked up big time. I gripped the edge of the sink, the panic in Valentina's eyes replaying in my mind. I'd never seen her this vulnerable, and it made something inside me feel like it was going to shatter. I could hear her in the bathroom, trying to steady herself after throwing up, and I forced myself to stay calm, to be there for her. She told me not to come in, but fuck I wanted to go in.

I wanted her to be pregnant. I wanted that little bundle of life to be the very thing that tied Valentina to me for good, to silence her family's judgment and show them that I was worthy of her love. If I could just make them see how much I cared for her, how much I wanted to build a life together, maybe they'd finally accept us.

But everything had changed in the span of a week. When I'd switched out her birth control pills—an impulsive move fueled by desperation—I thought I was taking a step toward securing our future. The thought of her being pregnant felt like a ticket to the life I dreamed of, a life where we didn't have to hide from anyone, where I could be the man she needed me to be. I never imagined it would turn into this chaotic mess.

Then she confessed yesterday that she didn't want kids right now. Her admission felt like a knife twisting in my gut. I couldn't shake the weight of her words. "I just want peace now," she had said, and I could feel the crushing reality of it. Did she really want a life with me? Or had I just pushed her into a corner with my reckless choices?

I'd never wanted her to feel scared or trapped, but I'd acted out of my own selfish desires, thinking I could control our fate. I was reckless, and now we were both facing the consequences.

The door cracked open, and I saw her, pale and shaken, her eyes flicking to mine for a brief moment before looking away. I went to her, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder as she leaned over the sink, breathing heavily.

"Val," I asked quietly, "have you been feeling like this for a while?"

She didn't answer at first. I could see the hesitation, the uncertainty, and then finally, she gave a small, almost defeated nod. "I... I don't know. Maybe. It's just... little things. Feeling off," she whispered. "But I thought it was just stress."

The fear in her voice was like a punch to my chest. She didn't need to say it; we were both thinking the same thing. What if she was seriously pregnant? Of course she I, the moment she breathes beside you, she's pregnant.

Her voice trembled as she finally whispered, "What if... what if I'm pregnant?"

I pulled her into my arms, letting her lean against me. The weight of her fear pressed against me, and I wanted so badly to protect her from all of it. "Val... whatever happens, we'll get through this," I said, doing my best to sound confident, as if my words alone could keep the panic from taking hold.

But she shook her head, pulling back just enough to look up at me, her face full of worry and doubt. "Christian, I'm not ready for this," she admitted, her voice breaking. "I'm so young. And... we haven't been careful. I didn't even think—"

Guilt gnawed at me, and I sighed, gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I should've been more careful too," I said quietly. "I got caught up in... everything with you, and I didn't think. I'm sorry."

The silence between us was almost unbearable, weighed down by all the unknowns. My mind raced with every possibility, every worry, every what-if. I knew she was feeling it too, and I could feel the tension in her as she took a shaky breath, finally letting out the words that had probably been eating away at her.

"I'm scared," she whispered, her voice so small it broke my heart. "I don't even know if I can do this. What if... what if I ruin everything?"

I pulled her closer, holding her like I could shield her from all of it. "Hey," I murmured, my voice as firm as I could manage. "You're not going to ruin anything. We'll take this one step at a time, together. I'm here, no matter what. Do you want an abortion if you're actually pregnant?"

Valentina shook her head against my chest, and even though I knew her fear wasn't gone, there was a small shift, a tiny flicker of trust. I could feel her relax, just a bit.

If she found out I switched her pills, she'd forever hate me.

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