I've known the Dutton's since I was born. My father was good friends with John. My mother and Evelyn, John's wife, had been friends since high school. I've had a great relationship with everyone in the Dutton family. Kayce and I have been dating since we were twelve. Our 5 year anniversary is a few weeks away and John told me he asked for Evelyn's ring right before graduation. There's nothing more than I want than to be Kayce's wife. Sure, we fought and broke up a couple weeks back but we realized what we have is special and not worth giving up.
We're going to the last graduation party for our friends tonight. l arrived early, happy to see Kayce pulling in. When he got out of his truck, his eyes were red like he'd been crying. I walked over to him.
"Hey cowboy, you okay? "I said as I wrapped my arms around him. He sobbed a bit harder as l hugged him. Kayce looked at me and I could tell he was battling his demons in his mind. "We need to talk. I love you so much, you know that right?" Kayce cried. My heart leaped out of my chest. He held me so tight I could barely breathe. "Yeah baby, I know, I love you."I said back, cupping his face. He kissed me hard and held my face so I couldn't pull away. When he let go he said, "Can you follow me back to the ranch? I don't wanna be here." I smiled at him, "Sure baby. Come on." Kayce walked over to my car and opened the door. Once I was in, he reached acrossed and buckled my seat belt. He gave me another long kiss and shut the door. A minute later, we were both pulling out of our spots and headed to the Dutton Ranch.
He pulled up in front of the North Cabin where we spent most of our alone time. I pulled in and he opened my door for me, taking me by the hand into the cabin. We laid on the couch and he climbed on top of me, holding me. We stayed like that in silence for about 20 minutes before I asked him what's wrong. He whispered "Please don't hate me." I looked down at him and knew this was big. He continued," You remember a few weeks back when we broke up?" I shook my head yes. He breathed out a big sigh,"We were at Ryans graduation party,I got so drunk and some people from the Rez came. I didn't know what I was doing but one of the girls and I were talking, one thing led to another and we had sex."I'm not going to lie, it hurt to near but we did break up so I couldn't be mad at him. "Oh, okay. Um...I mean we had broken up right? I'm a little sad but you didn't do anything wrong to me." I said calmly. Kayce looked at me with tears in his eyes. He croaked out, "I'd never cheat on you. We had broken up and you left. Fuck, you're so understanding but that's not all baby, I'm so sorry." My heart was in my throat as he cried and kept kissing me."Tell me babe." I whispered. He looked at me, holding my face kissing me one more time before starting, "She's pregnant and wants to keep the baby. I'm so sorry. But I'm not going to abandon my baby, and I think.. Fuck I don't want to do this baby. I love you more than anything. But it's the right thing I think. I think I'm going to marry her."
I was in shock, apparently I had started crying. He's going to marry her? What about me? I could help him why not marry me? I stood up as he watched me. "So what does this mean
Kayce? I could help you with the baby,we could get married and I'd come live with you. Why
Do you want to marry her? What's that mean for us Kayce?" I said frantically. He stood up,"I'm sorry Bella. I'm so sorry, I think I owe it to my baby to try at least to have a family with their mom." He cried. I know it sounded desperate but I couldn't help it, I yelled, "What about me? What about our plans? We were going to get married, I'd graduate law school, and we'd have lots of babies. You promised me forever Kayce, now you're leaving me. Don't leave me. I can help you with the baby. I love you Kayce John. Please choose me and our future." Kayce looked troubled, he came up and kissed me hard. I didn't let go, I wasn't sure I'd ever hold him again. "Baby I want that future we always talked about I'd do anything to go back and change what I did. I love you, I'll always love you. You'll always be the love of my life. But for my kid,I have to try." I cried more than I've ever cried in my entire life. We cried together,we laid down and cuddled one last time. We made love one last time.We cuddled again, a few hours later I stood up. Kayce looked at me and my heart shattered. I kissed him one last time and said,"I hope you are happy, I hope the baby is healthy. But I won't be waiting for you. I don't want to
See you or speak to you ever again. I love you Kayce John, but I'll find away to stop loving you soon enough. Goodbye Kayce." And I left, as painful as it was, I left.
Correction, there was nothing more that i wanted than to be Kayce's wife. After tonight, it's over. Five years of love down the drain. I'm so hurt, I'm so mad, I feel like my heart's been ripped out and stomped on. I stayed in Montana for school for Kayce, he knew how badly l wanted to go to law school in Wyoming. But I stayed for him, and this is how he repays me?
As I lay sobbing on my bathroom floor at home, I knew I had to get out of here. I could officially move into my dorm in the morning but in love sick puppy fashion, I was going to wait so I could spend all my free time with Kayce and move in the day before class. I'm so stupid. I got up off the floor and packed all my stuff, throwing it in the silver 4Runner my parents bought me for graduation. I told my parents my plan, advising them to not say a word to Kayce, kissed them and left. As I watched them wave goodbye in my rearview, I vowed to never love anyone again, specifically the way I loved Kayce. I would never love someone more than I loved myself.
