Living Again

Chapter Six

I stared at the table, my head spinning. Gunner grabbed my hand and held it tightly in his. It was like I couldn't breathe. My life was a lie. Everything was a lie. "What?" was all I could get out. My mother had other children? Other than me? I thought I was alone.

"Your mother had one other child before you, about 3 years before to be exact. Your father wasn't ready for a child, guess he never was, so she gave him up for adoption." I felt my stomach twist sharply. I felt sick just thinking of all this. Why didn't she give me up? Why did she give him up? I loved her but everything would be so different if she gave me away like she did. Jeff must have read my face.

"She planned to give you up too, ya know." He gave a humorless laugh. "Had every intention too. Had a family pick out and everything. But a wrench was thrown into that plan." He took a long drag of his coffee.

"What? What could have changed her mind?" Noah asked looking at me, I knew he was thinking of the time that they were denied the baby boy they wanted to adopt.

"It turned out it was twins. Two girls. Towards the end of the pregnancy, one of the girls was in danger. She stopped growing and the doctor took them out. The one twin was fine, she was taking up all the room. The other twin struggled, was in the hospital for a while." He gave me a smile.

"She fell in love with you, Amira. She spent everyday with you. She just couldn't give you up anymore." I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold myself together. Gunner took me into his arms and held me tight, like he does when I have my nightmares. I snuggled into him tightly, all the information slamming into me. "I'm sorry, Amira." I put my face into his neck and blocked out the world around me.

Not only do I have a sister and a brother, I have a twin. A twin. We shared a womb and I didn't even know who she was. A brother I didn't even know about was in my mother's arm before me. My head started to pound as I closed my eyes. Gunner rubbed my back but it did nothing to fix the pain. I looked up at Noah, "I think I need to lie down." He nodded.

"This has been a lot to take in for you. We should get back to the hotel." He shook Jeff's hand and put the money down for the drinks. It was like my whole world was shaking and there was no stable thing left, except Gunner. He held me tightly in his arms, my rock. He was my cellar in a tornado. My island in the sea. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held onto him tightly. I pressed my face into his neck as he supported my butt to hold me to him.

I bet I looked really weird hanging off of him, but I needed the comfort from my knight. Noah helped us into the car and then took Jeff's number. Noah drove us back in silence as I played with the necklace around Gunner's neck. He clutched me tighter playing with the hem of my shirt. "You okay?" He whispered. I just shrugged.

"I don't know." He kissed my forehead. I smiled up at him because having him here was the thing that was keeping me a float. I looked at Noah who gave me a worried look.

"Just remember, Amira, none of this changes anything. Jessa and I will always love you. No matter what else we find out." I nodded at him, a little wave of relief hit me. I looked out the window as we made our way back to the hotel...

After a short fitful unfulfilled sleep, I just picked mindlessly at my breakfast. Noah and Gunner made small talk but I just stared mindless at my eggs. All I could remember was my mother and how she treated me, lovingly like I would break any second.

It made sense now. I always knew I was premature because I have had so many problems but to find out I had a twin was still mind blowing. I looked up to a concerned Noah. "Amira, you okay?" I nodded slowly not really sure.

"I think I'm just still in shock." He nodded.

"I would still be too. You've been through a lot." I gave him a weak smile.

"I think it's just finding out that I'm not alone in my family anymore. I mean I have you guys but biologically having other people who might understand me. Who lost their parents just like I did. I don't know." I shrugged stopping my rambling. Noah nodded at me, almost sadly. I knew the words I said hurt him. But he knew that I loved our family.

"What if they don't want to know me? What if they don't want to find out about me?" Noah took my hand in his.

"Then they are fools. You are the best thing that has happened to this world and for them to not see that makes them ignorant. It's their loss as they don't know what they are missing out on." I blushed looking down.

"Jeff said he has some things for you." Noah said wiping his mouth. "I also spoke to your father last night, Gunner." Gunner raised his eyebrow at him. He looked back at me. "He looked back at some of your records. Made some calls and he found your mothers lawyer." My eyebrows shot up.

"We have to meet with him before we live. You get an inheritance when you turn 18. He has the details." I sat there and stared at the table not sure how I liked this news. I felt Noah's hand on mine.

"No matter what, we are here. If you decide you want none of it, I'll get rid of it. We'll going to protect you the whole time. I won't let you down." I smiled at him. I honestly don't remember what it was like without him there for me. I don't know what I did to deserve them. I told him so. He laughed. "Oh Baby, it's the other way around. I don't know what I did to deserve you for a daughter."

I leaned my head on Gunner's shoulder and looked up at him. He smiled at me leaning down to kiss me. "I honestly don't know what I did in my passed life to deserve an angel like you." He whispered snuggling his face into my hair. The fear and anxiety I felt before left as the confidence of knowing that no matter what, I had my two favorite men backing me up with everything as the love surrounded me. I could do this. I could find out about my pasted.