Aftermath
Damn, I'm so drunk... Pagkatapos kong magpahangin sa ilog, napagdesisyunan ko na ring uminom at mag-isip nang malalim. Bad idea? Maybe. Pero anong magagawa ko? Sa drama ng buhay kong ito, ako lang ang bida sa walang kwentang kwento.
I opened the condo door using the fingerprint scanner and immediately saw Alex sitting on the sofa, eyes glued to a book—of course. Ang epitome ng isang perpektong anak, laging maayos, laging tama. Tumumba-tumba akong naglakad papunta sa kanya, forcing him to look up from his pages. Mission accomplished.
I collapsed next to him, letting out a laugh that sounded more like a broken sob. “Why you? Of all people, bakit ikaw pa ang kasama ko sa kalbaryong ‘to?” My words dripped with alcohol and bitterness. "Alam mo bang galit na galit ako sa'yo? Do you even know that?" Silence. He didn’t respond, pero kita sa mata niya na nakikinig siya, na handa siyang marinig ang sakit na pilit kong itinatago.
"Ang nanay mo, kabit ng tatay ko. Nakakatawa, 'di ba? Napaka-ironic. Why the hell would anyone think we’d get along?" I clenched my fists, knuckles turning white. "Kasi let’s face it, that’s never gonna happen. I. Hate. You. Galit ako sa’yo," I snarled, each word cutting through the room like a knife.
"I'm not—" he began, pero tinapos ko agad.
"Shut up. They think na galit ako sa'yo kasi mas magaling ka sa akin? Kasi mas tahimik ka, mas maayos, mas karespe-respeto? Tsk. Pero hindi ‘yon ang totoo, Alex. Hindi mo alam ‘yung totoong dahilan. The real reason is your mom. Your mom destroyed my family. Because of her, naging impyerno ang buhay namin ni Mommy. We suffered in ways you’d never understand." My voice cracked, and before I knew it, the tears that burned my eyes finally fell. Pero kahit papaano, gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Parang isang sumpa na natanggal, kahit saglit lang.
“Do you hear me? I apologize if I hate you... pero ‘yon talaga ‘yon. Galit ako sa’yo! You are the symbol of everything that ruined us. Every time I see you, I’m reminded of betrayal, of nights na umiiyak si Mommy habang pilit niyang tinatago ‘yung sakit. Do you have any idea what that feels like?”
He closed his book, setting it aside as if the conversation deserved his full attention now. “Lorenzo, I get it. Your anger, your resentment. You have every right to feel that way,” he said, voice low, serious, almost pained. That made my blood boil even more. Paano niya nasasabi ‘yon ng ganun lang? He didn't get it. He would never get it.
"Don’t pretend you understand. You're the reason this nightmare exists. You're the living reminder of everything that went wrong in my life. Every. Single. Day. And it kills me, Alex. It kills me to see you here, acting like everything's fine while I’m breaking apart,” I choked out, my body trembling with raw, unfiltered rage.
He met my gaze, eyes filled with something I couldn’t quite place—sadness? Guilt? “You think this is easy for me, too? To live under the same roof with someone who looks at me like I’m a disease? Like I don’t belong anywhere? Hindi ko rin ito ginusto, Lorenzo. We’re both victims in this mess, and it’s not easy for either of us.”
I let out a bitter, mocking laugh, clapping slowly. “Wow, congratulations, Alex. You just won the sympathy award of the year. Pero alam mo ba kung bakit madali mong sabihin ‘yan? Kasi hindi ikaw ang iniwan, hindi ikaw ang trinaydor ng sariling pamilya.”
He shook his head, frustration flickering in his eyes, but he kept his voice steady. “I know you’re angry, but I’m not the one who caused all of this. You can keep hating me, but it won’t change anything. I’m just trying to survive here, just like you.”
“Whatever, Alex. You and your 'understanding' can go to hell,” I spat, stumbling to my feet. I was ready to storm off when I heard him sigh, so soft, it almost made me pause.
