Crazy
I tried to stay in my room after dinner, but damn it, the food was way too good. It wasn't like I'd tell him that, pero para akong nabuhay ulit sa kinain ko. Nakakatawa, hindi ko na yata kayang tiisin 'to. The condo was dead quiet. Sobrang tahimik na maririnig mo yung mga maliliit na tunog galing sa kusina—the clinking of plates, the low trickle of water habang naghuhugas siya ng pinggan. Pucha, bakit ba parang ang ayos pakinggan? Hindi na ako mapakali.
I grabbed a magazine from my nightstand, flipping through random pages kahit wala naman talaga akong pake. Bakit ba kasi nasa utak ko pa rin siya? Dapat nga, tulog na ako ngayon.
Then, out of nowhere, the lights flickered and went out. Power outage. Seriously? Just my luck. I groaned, fumbling around for my phone—oh, wait. Right, I was grounded. No phone. I grabbed the flashlight by my bed instead and headed to the kitchen, where I saw Alex digging through a drawer.
"Need some light?" I aimed the flashlight straight at his face, and he squint, halatang asar pero pilit nagpipigil.
"Very funny," sabi niya, inalis ang kamay ko para kunin yung mga kandila sa drawer.
Nakatayo lang ako ro'n, hawak yung flashlight habang sinisindihan niya ang mga kandila. Inilagay niya 'yon sa paligid ng sala, at sa unang pagkakataon, nag-iba ang dating ng condo. Parang mas warm, mas... hindi ko alam, pero parang masarap lang tumambay.
Nung matapos siya, papunta na dapat ako sa kwarto, pero nagtagal ako sa sala. Nakasandal ako sa couch, kunwari nagpapahinga lang. Ayoko lang rin masyadong obvious.
Tumabi siya, tahimik lang kami pareho. Walang nagsasalita, pero hindi rin naman awkward. Just... quiet.
After a while, siya na ang bumasag ng katahimikan. "So... kanina. Mukha namang hindi mo masyadong nagustuhan yung adobo."
I rolled my eyes, keeping up the tough act. "Yeah, well, don't get cocky. It was... edible, okay?"
Nakasmirk siya, at aaminin ko, tinatago ko yung urge na tumawa rin. Hindi na parang nag-aasaran kami. Parang... nakaka-relax lang.
Biglang nagseryoso 'yung mukha niya, na parang meron siyang gustong itanong na mabigat. "Ever thought about... getting past all of this? Yung galit, I mean."
Bigla akong natameme. Pucha, parang may suntok na dumapo sa sikmura ko. Nakailang beses ko na rin bang naisip 'yon? Oo naman. Pero aaminin ko? No way. Ramdam kong bumigat yung kamao ko, naiisip lahat—si dad, si Alex, lahat ng pucha'ng kasalanan na dala-dala ko. Pero for some reason, parang may boses sa likod ng utak ko, nagsasabing baka naman... baka lang naman hindi ko kailangang hawakan yung galit habang buhay.
"I don't forgive easily," sagot ko, sinubukang panindigan yung tono ko. "So don't expect anything to change."
The words hung in the air between us, neither of us moving, neither of us willing to say anything else. Nasa gilid kami ng kung ano—parang may pader na naghiwalay sa amin, na sa isang banda, gusto ko nang tapusin pero di ko pa kayang harapin.
The next day felt heavier than usual. The conversation with Alex from last night wouldn't leave my mind, and now I had to make it through another day at school, pretending I wasn't thinking about things I didn't want to think about.
It was lunchtime, and for once, I wanted to get away from everyone. The rooftop seemed like a good spot to clear my head—quiet, hidden, and no one really came up here. At least, that's what I thought until I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Hey, stranger. Long time, no see."
I turned around to find Stacey, leaning against the railing with her usual smug grin. She looked at me, arms crossed, her eyes scanning me as if she was reading my every thought.
