Anomalous (Yanderes x reader)

[64] Longing

Tonight, your actions were more impulsive than usual.

Though, could anyone blame you?

Your time here was limited, your worries could fill up an ocean, and your stress could drown a forest. So when faced with someone's vulnerable heart, your own couldn't help but reflect the same.

"Shen... I don't know if my feelings towards you are romantic.There's not enough time to put everything into words, but I know I care for you, a lot. So much. And seeing you like this hurts. I just––I don't know."

Whilst you felt like your mind was all over the place, the silver apparition listened to each of your words as if it were poetry.

"I'm happy. I didn't expect my feelings to be reciprocated, so it's alright. However, I wonder..." Shen laughed. "I wonder why I'm so unbelievably happy."

A light voice that danced in relief, a smile that reached his lonely silver eyes, and an odd warmth that radiated from the cold apparition. Shen's expression was gentle but there was desperation, a silent urgency hidden underneath.

"I'm glad I have a prominent place in your heart," he continued.

It was a small gesture, subtle; Shen leaned forward towards you. That was when you became aware of the proximity of your lips and his––yours were warm and flushed with blood, and his, pale and resembled snow.

"Shen, are you warm right now?"

"I am," he whispered. "I always am around you."

"... What about your lips?"

Silence, as if the world itself had held its breath.

"My..." Shen trailed off, still caught off guard by the implications of your words. "I suppose... not."

Slowly, Shen wrapped one hand around your waist, drawing you closer. His eyes searched yours, a silent question asking if you were alright with the contact. You answered by wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and closing the distance between you.

"(Y/n)––"

"If you're uncomfortable, just tell me."

"I'm not." Shen's response was quick. "Are you...?"

"I'm comfortable." You smiled. "You're lowkey tall, though."

Shen's expression seemed a little less tense after that. "I could carry you."

"Carry?"

"Like this."

Shen lifted you up. Surprised by the gesture, your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as he leaned you against the wall.

"Does this work?" he asked.

Holy shit.

You did not trust yourself to speak properly, so you responded with a nod.

After, there were a short few seconds where no one moved and no words were exchanged. However, you could feel the distance between you and Shen closing. He looked up, eyes silently asking for permission. Shen was eager, impatient; however, you knew he'd wait for eternity if you needed him to.

You smiled in return.

That was all it took for Shen's lips to capture yours.

His lips were cold, yet warmth enveloped your heart as you leaned into the kiss. Shen's lips parted slightly and he held you tighter. Gentle, tender, and attentive––yet, his grasp on you was so secure to where you felt like you had to push him off if you wanted to pull away from the passionate kiss.

Your hands ran through Shen's hair and a quiet moan left him. A faint smile was felt through the kiss before Shen finally pulled away. In his silver eyes was still a lingering desire; his lips were parted as soft pants escaped it.

Shen placed a kiss on your forehead and whispered, "I love you."

Your mind was still dazed from the kiss. "Shen..."

"Would you humour me for a little?"

"Hm?"

"Do you remember the game we played a while back? The one involving twenty one questions."

"Oh, yeah. We never finished it. I kinda lost track of how many questions we asked."

"It was seven."

"Your memory is terrifying."

Shen was amused by your words. "Is it alright if we continue that game?"

"Uh... yeah?"

You wanted to ask, 'In this position?' but you couldn't deny how nice it felt to be held by Shen with his eyes looking straight into yours as if you were the only person that mattered in his world.

"I'll start," Shen said. "You're aware of my attachment to you; these feelings... They've become more possessive as the days go on. I fear that one day I'd do something that would make you hate me. My question is, when my emotions become too much, what would you do?"

Ah... Was Shen referring to what happened with James? How Shen's vengeful apparition state isn't stable and he will eventually lose himself as time progressed? His feelings towards you were strong, so his apparition state interpreted it as a necessity for survival. Thus, it would explain Shen's instances of possessiveness.

"What would it take for you to enter my book?"

After all, you wanted to save James by that means; however, you were unsuccessful because his life story wasn't something you could save.

"Only if I am sure that your method of saving this city will work for certain," he replied. "Until then, I will proceed with my own vision."

"Then, I'd be sure to reassure you with my plan before your emotions become too much. Give me updates so I can hurry up, okay?"

Shen nodded, a ghost of an amused smile on his lips. "My next question is... Would a future where the two of us could smile and laugh under normal circumstances ever exist?"

Ah...

These twenty one questions were asked and answered without deception; a special connection between you and Shen where both parties leave their hearts vulnerable and free. Therefore, you didn't want to avoid a proper answer; however, the truth you wanted to say was painful.

"I..." You took a deep breath. "I don't––"

"Stop there, please. You don't need to finish that sentence," Shen whispered. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to accept your answer."

Your heart ached.

"Shen, I'm so sorry."

The apparition returned your tearful words with a reassuring smile.

"I do wish to change this city; however, most of all, I'd like to see you everyday, wake up and say good morning and ask how your sleep was, ask if you'd like to eat lunch with me..."

Shen's breath grew unsteady, and tears began to form in his eyes. Slowly, Shen brought you closer to him and buried his face in the crook of your neck. His breath trembled a little before he mumbled,

"I love you... I love you so much; I love you to where it is wonderfully unbearable."