Covetousness

Heartstrings of Destiny #6

The Confusion

The memories of those accidental kiss, well except from the make out session with Mikha, linger in your mind, surfacing in fragments that fill you with a mix of confusion and longing. Each one feels like a spark you’ve been trying to ignore, each moment pulling at you, leaving you both drawn to and wary of the emotions that keep bubbling to the surface.

In the days following those moments, you found yourself retreating further, weighed down by the uncertainty of your own heart. Every time you saw one of them, a sense of panic and confusion would flare up, driving you to keep your distance.

Flashback

One night, alone in your dorm, Jhoanna’s gaze haunted you. She was always there, trying to bridge the distance you put up, her presence filled with a quiet patience. But now, her eyes held a question—a question you couldn’t answer. She would linger by your side, offering little jokes or stories, hoping you’d laugh or join in, but you couldn’t bring yourself to engage.

One night, she looked up from her phone and asked softly, “Are you okay, Y/N?” Her voice was tentative, almost fragile.

You nodded, swallowing hard, refusing to meet her eyes. “Yeah, just… a lot on my mind.”

Jhoanna took a step closer, her expression hesitant, almost pleading. “I just… I miss us talking like before. It’s like you’re a million miles away.”

Her words cut deeper than you expected, but the fear of facing what had happened kept you silent. You forced a small smile. “I’m sorry, Jhoanna. I just… need space.” She looked down, nodding slowly, and though she didn’t say anything more, you could feel the sadness in the air, heavy and unspoken. It hurt to see it, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to close that distance.

---

In the library, you avoided the table where Colet sat, where you’d always met to study, to share quiet glances and conversations. Now, you hid behind shelves, pretending to search for books, watching her as she sat alone, her expression a mix of hope and patience. You knew she was waiting for you, hoping you’d come sit beside her like before. She glanced around every now and then, as if sensing you nearby, and when her eyes found yours, her face lit up.

“Y/N!” she called out softly, her smile genuine as she gestured to the chair next to her. “I saved you a seat.”

You hesitated, your heart pounding as you forced a smile and shook your head. “I… I have a project to finish. I’ll see you around, Colet.”

Her face fell slightly, but she nodded, trying to hide her disappointment. “Alright. Just… let me know if you need any help.”

The way she said it, her voice gentle and understanding, only made you feel worse. You nodded again and left quickly, your footsteps echoing in the quiet library as you tried to escape the ache her expression left in your chest.

---

In the garden, where Gwen always waited for you, the tension was almost unbearable. She would sit on the bench, looking around, her usual bright smile faltering when she didn’t see you. You could see the confusion in her eyes, the way she held her phone, checking for any messages from you. The sight made your heart twist, but you couldn’t bring yourself to approach her. One day, you finally decided to walk past her, intending to give a simple wave, hoping that would be enough.

“Y/N!” she called out, her voice warm with relief as she stood up, coming toward you. “I haven’t seen you here in days. I was starting to think you forgot about me.”

You forced a laugh, trying to keep your tone light. “Sorry, Gwen. I’ve been… busy. With, uh, projects and all.”

She looked at you with a soft smile, but there was sadness in her eyes. “You know, I’ll always wait. But… I miss you.” Her words hung in the air, and for a moment, you thought about sitting down, talking like you used to, letting her comforting presence ease your confusion. But instead, you nodded and excused yourself, walking away without looking back.